Messenger Theatre Company presents Season Two of The Dragoning
Episode One: Sharon, Paul and Alice
(The first few notes of the piano sound nice and theatre-y but then they start to deconstruct, a bit like a music box going awry. Strings come in. Men droning. Are they monks?)
EMILY:
Messenger Theatre Company presents
Season Two of The Dragoning
(lots of voices saying The Dragoning. The beat drops. There are some distorted strings or cries in rhythm.)
EMILY:
Episode One. Sharon, Paul and Alice
(The music sputters out. Sound of a man’s voice, muffled, words indistinguishable.)
Brent’s Mom: Sharon
Thank you for getting us home safely, officer. Have a good night.
(Sound throughout of kitchen noises, drawers, dishes)
You don’t think you could have warned us before you brought your dragon girlfriend home, then? That maybe your father and I might have wanted to take precautions maybe? Maybe been a little bit prepared, Brent? You don’t think that would have been a considerate thing to do?
Sure. I can understand that she’d want to keep that information secret, sure. Sure. But her secret’s out now, isn’t it, sweetheart? Going full dragon in the middle of the airport like that? Causing an international incident. Her city is on total quarantine lockdown now, Brent. It’s a good thing you got out when you did because there are no more flights in or out of there, thanks to you. It’s all finished.
No you cannot see her. They’ve taken her into custody and you’re lucky they let you go.
I mean they’ll be back. They will be asking you a lot of questions in the coming days, I can guarantee you that. They let us know.
They’ve already questioned your father and I extensively – so you can be sure your time is coming again, sir. You can bet. That cursory investigation? That’s just the start. The only reason they have given you a little bit of breather right now is because they are trying to decide whether or not to prosecute you for bringing a known dragon into the country. Luckily, they have no leg to stand on in that department due to the fact that there are no laws on the books about dragons at this point. A fact I was happy to point out to them when they tried to take you into custody.
Your father could have been killed, you know. Can you imagine? How would you have felt if your new girlfriend had eaten your father?
Not good, I should say.
Jet lag is no excuse. You, of all people should know that. Did you ever change into a dragon due to a time zone? No. You didn’t. You just slept for 12 hours when you got there like the rest of us. Like she should have done.
What do you mean? Oh, those boys on their way to a game? What did they say?
Well, that’s not every polite, is it?
They ought to be ashamed.
No you can’t see her! Not a chance!
She’s a dragon, she’s fine.
I can’t dream of what you were even thinking bringing her here.
That didn’t look like someone who has things under control to me.
Usually, usually. Ha!
You weren’t gone long enough to know how she usually is. You know how she was in love, that’s it.
Of course, she was in love. Look at you. You’re a dreamboat. But boy did you get her into trouble!
What do you mean she was already in trouble?
Oh. So there were people coming after her? What sort of people?
Eesh. I agree that’s not nice but she could have gone anywhere, why’d she have to come here?
I mean in the minute I had to give her a hug and welcome her, she seemed nice but an awful lot changed awfully quickly, wouldn’t you say, Brent? Awfully quickly.
I’ve never seen a dragon before. Neither has anyone else in this country.
there are already dragons here, we just haven’t seen them.
How do you know?
They were at the airport, too?
How do you know you can trust her?
She ate two people at the airport, Brent. I’m not sure I’d trust such a person.
But let’s assume she’s telling you the truth about this dragon welcome committee….that means
Discrete dragons? That seems unlikely. They’re not a particularly discrete species. I mean. You’d never miss one. We certainly didn’t miss your dragon girlfriend in the airport.
Fine. Sorry. Ashley.
Well – if they’ve been keeping themselves under wraps and your dragon – sorry, Ashley, - just outed herself, I doubt they’re going to be much help to her. It’s not like they’re going to want to go and visit.
Oh this is such a mess you’ve made. Such a mess. And the press is going to come calling, you know that, right? This is cat nip for them.
Just deny everything. You had no idea she was a dragon. You have no idea what’s going on. You’re an innocent in this whole thing.
It is the best thing for her, too.
It’s sweet that you’re so worried about her. I guess you really like her, huh?
I’d be thrilled if I weren’t horrified.
Yes, yes, of course you are. What time must your body think it is?
There are some new sheets on your bed and we got some blackout curtains - so you should get some good rest.
I am glad to have you home, my wandering boy.
Sleep well, darling. (kiss)
Oh come on, I’m still your mother.
*
(sound of dragon roar. Sound of a man running up stairs.)
PAUL
Good morning, Dragon Lover!
No – your mum called to tell me you were home – but I saw your news in the paper all on my own!
You’ve really gotten yourself into a mess, haven’t you?
I mean, you’ve gotten yourself into messes before. And I’ve gotten into a few with you.
But this a real big hot mess you’re in now, my friend. Just, like, a spaghetti casserole dropped on the floor sort of mess. But famous.
What are you going to do?
Oh sure. Yeah. Getting up and showering is a good start. You gotta wash that dragon flop sweat off you. Stat. I mean – whoooooo.
Sure, yes. Coffee is a good idea, too. I should have brought you one. I bet it’s hard to get a good coffee over there.
Well. We can go hit the Coffee Hut, if your mum will let you out of the house.
Well, she’s a little worried about the press that’s camped out on the lawn.
Well – they just can’t wait to talk to you, of course. They want to hear allllllll about it.
I mean, so do I, of course. But I’m not going to put stuff you say in a paper. And I am very patient.
Maybe if I convince your mum I can hustle you past the reporters, she’ll let us go. What do you think? I’m pretty sure I can lose them.
Right. You go wash off that dragon stank and I’ll convince your mother.
Kay Mate, Catch ya.
*
Sound of a dragon roar.
Sound of a phone ringing, Office noise. The occasional thump.
Alice Dwyer – Government Agent
I appreciate your coming in to chat with me, Brent. We’re all trying to figure out the best way forward and I can understand you might be a little bit dis-oriented, having flown so many hours, what with the jet lag and the dragons and what not.
Before we begin, I want you to know that no charges have been laid against you and as far as I know, there are none in the works. We are in foreign territory with this dragon situation and fortunately for you, there are no laws on the books that anyone could find to charge you with – try as they might.
I’m just hoping you can help me understand a little more about dragons since you have been among them. If you don’t mind, I’d like to start at the beginning. Did you have a particular interest in dragons before you went?
Walk me through your decision to take the trip.
I mean, yes, that is a very cheap flight. I went there once on holiday and it was quite a bit more than that. So. Sure. Cheap flight. Now’s as good a time as any to check the place out.
Did you understand you were taking a risk?
Sure, sure. Everything’s a risk. I understand that more than most. But I also know that some things are riskier than others. I walk into a room of drug dealers with a cache of weapons, I’m walking into a riskier situation than I would be walking into a restaurant.
Yeah sure. You’re not particularly risk averse we might say. It’s a useful asset in some professions. And you’re very well travelled – you figure dragons aren’t all that.
Sure. Yeah. I got it.
Sound of writing
Did you have particular agenda for your trip?
Like plans?
Or, like, desires? Like, to see a dragon for example.
Huh. Atmosphere, stories, vibe, okay. Okay. Interesting, okay. So what was the atmosphere like over there?
I would imagine!
What do you mean by Topsy Turvy?
Women do what there now?
And men are like what?
Huh. Okay. I agree that that sounds interesting.
Sounds like I should send my husband over there.
Right – it wouldn’t be safe right now.
So – tell me about what you did, where you went, what kind of contacts you made. It will help us a bit with contact tracing.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Interesting.
Okay.
Really? A shuttle service for men…
Okay.
Okay.
Is the medical system as bad over there as we hear?
Huh. Okay.
Okay.
And you didn’t know this girl was a dragon when you decided to bring her here to meet your parents?
Well, I don’t know why you’d bring a dragon into your own country. That’s one thing we’re trying to find out here. So did you? On purpose?
Fine. Can you tell us anything you learned about dragons while you were over there?
I don’t know. Anything that might help us prevent a dragon outbreak here.
Is there something that prevents people from turning dragon?
Scented candles? Really? Any particular scent?
Pine and geranium. Huh. How’d you come by that little tidbit?
In a bar?
Sure okay or somewhere.
Anything else you picked up about them in your trips to the bar?
Nice? How do you mean nice?
Don’t these women eat men? And burn them up? Doesn’t sound very nice to me.
Oh, I see. As humans – they tend to be nice. I understand. Well – I’ve only met one dragon now and I can concede that point. She is very nice. She mostly seems worried about you. There she is in quarantine and she’s worried about where you ended up. Did you two get very close while you were over there?
And she didn’t tell you she was a dragon.
I see your point. It is dangerous for her to self disclose. Right. Though, it is also very dangerous not to disclose. She could have killed you, too, you know.
You are very lucky you didn’t get eaten.
But you didn’t. Because you ran, and you got your dad to run. How did you know to do that, Brent?
What do you mean she told you to?
She said run and you ran?
Man, I wish my husband would be so quick to do what I asked him.
What do you mean a “look in the eyes”?
Pupils.
Like diamonds.
Maybe I would, you’re right. Maybe I would run too.
Okay. So. You learned most dragons are nice. They tend not to go dragon around pine and geranium scented candles. What else?
Good for tourism how?
Oh. Disaster tourism…yeah , I guess I have heard of such a thing.
Right. Good for big hotels and bus companies. Not so good for the little guys.
Souvenirs? Did you bring some back?
No, I don’t suppose they would let you bring one of those firestarters on a plane. Good point.
Anything else you can tell us about what’s going on over there?
Huh. All male businesses? Don’t we already have that – like everywhere?
Oh. I see. Like – they’re not safe with women so they self isolate. Right. Okay.
Like – dragon haters?
Like – a club?
What do they do?
That sounds like a boardgame or something.
Ah, yes, murder is certainly something we’d be worried about. They’re murder clubs? Did you go to one?
I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want to go to one of those either.
I’m not sure why what happens to Ashley is any of your concern.
Sure – you care about her – but you know she’s a dragon, right?
I’m not sure dragons ARE people too – but I’ll accept your premise and it is sweet that you are concerned. So, I will tell you that our plan is to send her back to where she came from on a secure flight.
Dangerous how?
For her?
How?
She’s been doxed there.
I thought you said you didn’t know she was a dragon.
Okay. You know she’d been doxed but you didn’t know why. What did she tell you?
Death threats.
Credible death threats. And an attempt. I see. Well, we’ll see what there is to do. I’ll talk toher handlers.
You want to see her?
The woman that turned into a dragon in front of you at the airport.
I’ll see what I can do.
(Door opens to office environment noise)
Thank you so much for your assistance, Brent. I may reach out again if I find I have further questions.
*
(Dragoning theme credit music begins. Strings. Bells. It’s a little creepy but also fun. Like mischievous creatures sneaking around after midnight.)
EMILY:
The Dragoning is produced by Messenger Theatre Company and written by Emily Rainbow Davis
The Dragoning Theme was composed by Scott Ethier
Sound design by Matt Powell
This episode featured Nina Nicolic as Sharon, Conrad Le Bron as Paul and Clare Stevenson as Alice.
Messenger Theatre Company is a not-for-profit organization and we are entirely reliant on your support.
Thank you in advance for making our next episode possible.
Stay safe out there everyone. And watch out for dragons.
(Music resolves.)