Messenger Theatre Company presents Season Two of The Dragoning
Episode Two: Fiona, Erica, Amanda and Paul
(The first few notes of the piano sound nice and theatre-y but then they start to deconstruct, a bit like a music box going awry. Strings come in. Men droning. Are they monks?)
EMILY:
Messenger Theatre Company presents
Season Two of The Dragoning
(lots of voices saying The Dragoning. The beat drops. There are some distorted strings or cries in rhythm.)
EMILY:
Episode Two: Fiona, Erica, Amanda and Paul
(The music sputters out.)
(Kitchen door closes, Kitchen noises behind it, Sharon listening to the radio in the background.
Episode 2
FIONA
Yeah, thanks for having me over. It’s not easy to find places to safely talk dragons in public so this was a great idea. And your mum seemed to really enjoy the challenge of sneaking me in here so that’s a lark.
Well, like I said in my message – I wanted to check in on you on Ashley’s behalf.
She’s okay. We’ve got someone inside with eyes on her and they’re treating her fine. Not great. But fine, you know. I’d rather be in lock up here than where she’s from, I know that.
Anyway – she’s worried about you so I just thought I’d reach out – touch base and get word back to her if I can.
You haven’t had any harassment or too much difficulty with the authorities?
Good. Good. I’m so glad.
And I hope this isn’t indelicate to ask – though it is kind of important - have you – um – revealed any – um – prior knowledge of this situation?
Oh good. Thank you. That’s good to know. It’s best for both of you if no one knows you knew.
Is that what she called us? The welcoming committee? Funny. Well, I guess that’s what we were supposed to be.
We didn’t get to, of course. I regret that your parents found you guys before we did. I feel like if we had we wouldn’t be in this situation now.
Well, we were worried about what the effect so much flight time might have – so we’d prepared a sort of preventative for Ashley to get into her before being exposed to the chaos of the airport.
Oh – it’s a drink we’ve developed that helps keep women from dragoning out when they don’t want to. It’s like a super chill out smoothie.
You think I’m going to tell you what’s in it? Oh, sweetheart. Hell no.
But yes, it is one of the reasons why no one knows the dragons are here.
Yeah - we didn’t know what you or Ashley looked like so your parents spotted you guys first. We saw the whole thing. We weren’t so far away. If we could have intervened without exposing ourselves, we certainly would have – but we operate in total secrecy, as I’m sure you can understand.
Some of us are, some are just dragon support and in disclosing our existence to you, we are assuming a high level of trust, I hope you know.
Well – we heard about what happened with the dragon slayer over there and the Friends of the Dragons are very grateful for your service, so, their good opinion goes a long way and gives you a full raft of trust from us at the get go.
But that doesn’t mean we’re going to reveal our dragon status to you. The fewer people who know who’s who and what’s what, the safer it is for everyone.
Good. I’m glad that makes sense to you.
My question for you now, then, Brent, is – do you think you’d want to help us?
I can’t offer you to be part of the group – that’s out of the question – but if we could call upon you when we need you, it would be a big help.
That’s great. The thing is, sometimes, it would be useful to have a man and we’re not disclosing to men generally, so we don’t have any on our side…you’d be providing a real service. And all the dragons will take extra precautions when you’re around. Does that work for you?
I’m so glad. I’ll get word back to Ashley that you’re okay and I’ll be in touch about our – uh – welcome committee meetings very soon. Just FYI – to the public – we are the Knitting Orchids – so further communication will come from them.
Thanks again, Brent. We’re grateful to have your help. Everyone will be pleased to have you on board. Take care. And don’t let the press get to you. We’re here if you need us, too. We’ve got some press strategies should you decide you want to engage. But your current strategy of just abstaining is a good one.
You’ll hear from the Orchids soon.
(Dragon roars)
Erica (Brent’s Ex)
Thanks Sharon. I’ll come say “hi” again before I go.
(Sound of a screen door opening and closing)
Hey.
(Footsteps on the patio
Birds chirping throughout)
Yeah, your mum let me in. She said you were out here on the patio. I think she misses me.
(The sound of a chair being pulled out and pulled in.)
Got yourself in the paper, didn’t you? Well, well, well.
No – I didn’t come to talk about the newspaper. Sheesh. I came to make sure you were okay.
I mean, if I’d known it was dragons you were into – we could have tried some role play back in the good old days.
No, no, no, of course not. I’m mostly just surprised you let a girl travel with you. You were always like, “No, Erica, I’m a solo traveler. No offense. This is something I do on my own.” And here you were, on a plane from over the ocean, with a girl. And a girl who turned out to be a dragon, no less.
No. Good point. You weren’t traveling with her so much as coming home with her. That is….a good point. I feel less hurt now.
No – well, I guess I just didn’t understand. But – of course I could never come home with you since I already live here. I could have moved to Bangkok or something hung out there a few years, run into you on your travels and then flown home with you. That’s how that could have worked.
I don’t know. I was thinking of going to Bangkok for a holiday at one point. That’s probably why I thought of it.
Why? What happened to you in Bangkok?
Was the world your oyster? Did the tough guys tumble?
I can’t believe that song is true.
No, no, of course. Not really. I tease. You know I tease. It’s my favorite activity.
Listen – I’m sorry. I will tease you as much as I can get away with but I also am a little concerned about you. You could have been killed. And I know this isn’t about me – but I do not want my ex murdered by a dragon. That’s the kind of story that I do not want to be a part of. And I don’t want to go to your stupid funeral, you risky rebel. What if there were dragons there?
True. I guess as a woman I AM perfectly safe. But what if I wanted to bring my new boyfriend to your funeral? He wouldn’t be perfectly safe, would he?
Well, if that’s your plan, then, well played. Very well played.
But seriously – are you okay?
What did they do to you over there?
Well – you do seem different.
Like, actually, very different. You have a whole new vibe. I’m not sure what to make of it. Is that, like, trauma or something?
From watching two guys disappear into a dragon?
I don’t know. Different. Just like – I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but you usually have a sort of cocky vibe about you.
There it is. Yeah. Like that. But less obvious.
What do you mean “fear”? Like do I sense fear coming off you? Brent. That’s super weird.
Okay. Yeah. I suppose it could be.
Yeah, but I’m not a dragon. You know I’m not a dragon.
What?
They don’t?
What do you mean anyone could pop?
You’re saying I could be a dragon and not even know it.
Why unlikely?
I’m nice!
No, you’re right. I can be a real ball buster. No lie.
But you’re saying – now – having seen a woman you didn’t expect to turn dragon, turn dragon, you’re just a little base-line afraid.
That is so weird, Brent.
How do you mean, “Fear can save a life”? That’s weird, Brent.
No – that’s true. Fear will get you to run when it’s time. And apparently can keep a dragon from eating you. You’re saying if you’re afraid of it enough, it won’t bother to eat you.
Damn. You have had the weirdest holiday of anyone on earth.
And to have it, like, change your personality a little bit.
Sure. You’re the same. You’re the same old dumbass Brent who’ll stumble into any old kind of trouble and wonder what in the heck happened to get him there.
Yeah, I know you, you wally. Better than I know a lot of people. I’m sorry you’ve been scared out of your personality.
No, no, surely you must still have a personality.
It’s just not the personality I’m used to.
No, it’s fine. It’s weird but, fine.
No, I seriously just came to make sure you were okay.
And you are. You’re just sort of pussed out.
I joke. I kid.
Hey listen – there’s a party at Ken’s later tonight if you want to go. I promise I’ll come to your aid if you suffer any dragon attacks.
But. Wait. Dude. The only dragon we’ve got here is locked up. Why are you still afraid?
You think there’s going to be an outbreak here.
What do you mean you don’t see how there couldn’t be dragons here? There couldn’t be. Period. End of story.
Do you know something we don’t know?
A doorman? Brent. I don’t know much but I do know you don’t get your number projections from a doorman. That much I know.
Track the missing? Like the missing are secret dragon victims? Boy oh boy.
Well, I can’t wait to see know this exciting version of you goes down at Ken’s this evening. You’re coming, right?
Good. See you there.
*
(Dragon Roar)
AMANDA
(Party sounds)
Oh, I heard about you. You’re Dragon Boy!
The guy who flew with the dragon girl!
Ken! You didn’t tell me you were having a celebrity at your party.
You were on the front page. Of course you’re a celebrity.
No, it’s like a security camera photo – image – still – I don’t know. It’s from the security footage. You haven’t seen it?
No, not the footage. The paper. The photo in the paper. Front page!
If I were in the paper, I’d get every copy and keep them all for a scrapbook.
My grandma had one. It’s like – little bits of personal history. And if I got in the paper…well. You did, so congratulations.
Oh, it is, though. And you were traveling with that dragon, so that’s very interesting and cool. Like, how many people are famous for traveling with dragons? I can’t think of any but you – so that means you are very special. You’re the first dragon traveler in history. Also – you saw her transform? That’s so cool. So wild.
So – are you going to, like, go on TV and do the talk shows now?
I mean – it would be great for your brand, whatever that is. You gotta capitalize on this moment. It’s going to fly by so fast.
Yeah. Well- I work at a PR firm. I know these things. Do you have a publicist?
I’m just an assistant. I don’t have authority yet. But I do keep my eyes open and I think I might want to move up in the agency, you know?
No, yeah, I do. I totally think you should have a publicist. I mean, that’s often how my bosses get clients. Heck, they may be trying to track your number down right now!
No – it’s just that it’s such a fun story!
They might!
Well. Uh duh. Dragon! And not just, like, oh, hey, surprise everyone, there are dragons, but here’s one that moments ago that was a human and uh, also, that human was with her was her boyfriend? I mean…the headlines just write themselves, don’t they?
Well. I’m not a journalist. I’m just a PR assistant. Headlines are our bread and butter.
Oh, sure, yeah, mostly people just read headlines anyway these days. A whole article? Who has the time? Headlines, headlines, baby. Nothing but headlines.
So are you still with the dragon girl or what?
Who says you’re not supposed to talk about it? Come on. Be free! You should be able to say what you want to. Who’s stopping you?
Oh, officials. What do they know? Boring old officials. Snoozeville. Look, here’s my card. If you decide you want to do the talk shows or, like, I don’t know, just talk over the possibilities, call me and I can refer you to the best ones in my office – or just, you know, troubleshoot or whatever.
You can call me for whatever.
Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Hit that bar! Ken’s making mojitos. They’re really good. Yeah, okay. Yeah. No, I’d love one. Thank you. Appreciate it.
*
(Party music increases and then decreases a little)
PAUL
Can’t believe you escaped! Your mum let you out, huh? You made a break for it?
Is there still a bunch of press at your house?
How are you getting past them?
Oh, classic. Classic. Jacket over the head. Much respect. Old standard for many a rock star and tabloid girl. Do it up right. No one wants a picture of your jacket. Especially that jacket.
I did notice a cute photographer in the passel. Is that what it’s called? A passel? Anyway – check out the photographer from The Sun.
I’d ask her for her number but it doesn’t seem like the right context does it?
“So – hey – I see you’re staking out my buddy’s house – but maybe you wanna get a steak with me later…” actually maybe that’s not a terrible line.
No. It is. It’s terrible. You’re right. But would it work?
There IS, in fact, only one way to find out.
What do you mean?
How’m I doing?
I’m fine, dude. Why wouldn’t I be? What happened to you over there, man? You’ve gotten so weird!
I don’t know. Weird! So weird. You’re weird.
Nah. I’m normal. I mean, sure, normally weird – but normal. You’re newly weird.
It’s like, a whole vibe.
Yeah – a vibe. Sure weird vibe.
She did? Yeah, I mean, I get that I guess it could be called personality change. But it’s not like you had a brain tumor and came out weird. Wait, you didn’t do that, did you?
I just – yeah, I don’t know where you go. You said you were going to Dragon City but maybe you were just going to the hospital. I don’t know.
Good. That’s good to know. I’d tell you, too, man. If it were me.
Sure. Hypotheticals are always the best promises. I could make ‘em all day.
Oh say – speaking of hypotheticals. What’s up with that girl you were just talking to?
You mind if I move in on that?
Oh, what?
Sure, I’ll take her that mojito. That’s big of you, my friend.
I guess you might – a dragon girlfriend in lock up here and a dragon slayer in lock up there.
You got the magic touch.
You’re right. No one likes a mojito with melted ice. I’ll take this over. Check you later.
(Dragon Roar)
*
(Dragoning theme credit music begins. Strings. Bells. It’s a little creepy but also fun. Like mischievous creatures sneaking around after midnight.)
EMILY:
The Dragoning is produced by Messenger Theatre Company and written by Emily Rainbow Davis
The Dragoning Theme was composed by Scott Ethier
Sound design by Matt Powell
This episode featured Mischa Ipp as Fiona, Sara Lynam as Erica, Rhiannon Moushall as Amanda and Conrad Le Bron as Paul.
Messenger Theatre Company is a not-for-profit organization and we are entirely reliant on your support.
Thank you in advance for making our next episode possible.
Stay safe out there everyone. And watch out for dragons.
(Music resolves.)