The Dragoning - Episode Nine
Transcript
(The first few notes of the piano sound nice and theatre-y but then they start to deconstruct, a bit like a music box going awry. Strings come in. Men droning. Are they monks?)
EMILY:
Messenger Theatre Company presents
The Dragoning
(lots of voices saying The Dragoning. The beat drops. There are some distorted strings or cries in rhythm.)
EMILY:
Episode Nine. Jenny, Sergeant Ana Rengel and Ashley.
(The music sputters out. Sound of a van door.)
*
Episode 9
Jenny
Oh hey! I remember you. I picked you up from the woman-haters club the other day.
No, no. It’s not actually called that. Sorry. Their sign just makes me laugh.
No way? One of those guys has a girlfriend? And she embroidered them that sign? Wow. Straight people are so weird.
You’re right. Those guys especially.
How’s it been going since the last time I saw you? Looks like you managed to injure yourself. What happened? You get dragon clawed?
Is it? Damn. And I think of myself as so original. I guess the joke of a dragon clawing is that no one just gets clawed. I don’t think there has ever been any such thing. You’re either eaten or ashes. A clawing would be a miracle. So you see why we all think that’s an hilarious joke we’re all apparently making those days. And we all know that the more you have to explain a joke, the funnier it is.
Yeah – before dark the shuttle’s pretty quiet. I don’t know why, really. Dragons aren’t particularly nocturnal. You’re just as likely to get eaten during the day as you are at night – but the night adds extra scare, I guess.
Maybe there’s something about the dark. Or maybe it’s just like – if you’re going to be eaten by a dragon in the middle of the day, at least there will be witnesses. Someone might see it.
No, not you specifically. I don’t think you’re the get eaten type.
Did I? That’s funny. I didn’t realize I was out here trying to work out eating odds on you and probably everyone else.
I don’t know. The guys at the woman haters club are fairly likely candidates.
No, good point. I bet fear is pouring off them 24-7. I’m surprised dragons don’t just hang out outside that place lapping it up.
Yeah. You’re right. Probably too obvious. Good point.
Huh? Good question. I mean…you’re right. This shuttle tends to be full of fearful men. Maybe dragons do think about riding it to get a dose.
Right. Or drive it. Funny.
Well, you can rest assured. It would seem that there’s no shortage of fear anywhere out here, so dragons don’t need to hang out in any particular place to collect it. Mostly it comes to them, I’d think. We just don’t know so much, you know?
So you’re headed downtown?
You got fun plans?
Oh yeah – people back home always expect a little something, don’t they?
Yeah – I’d say Downtown is probably your best bet souvenir shopping wise. You can get models of buildings and such. T-shirts. Postcards. Key chains. And these days you can get all kinds of dragon stuff, too.
Those kinds of places always move faster than anyone. I bet you could take the pulse of a city through its souvenir shops.
I’ve seen stuffed dragons and t-shirts and hats. Someone showed me some dragon themed doll furniture the other day. And I know for sure they’ve got dragon firestarters.
Oh, you know – they use them for fireplaces and grills and things?
Yeah. Those. Everyone gets a kick out of those because the flame comes out of the dragon’s mouth when you light it.
I won’t let them use them on the bus. No way. The company has enough liability issues without people playing with open flame in here.
Here’s your stop. If you head up in that direction, you should find a few shops.
You bet. Take care. Be safe.
Awww. No problem. You’re welcome. It’s literally my job.
You, too.
(Sound of a dragon roar. Sounds of the police station.)
Sergeant Ana Rengel
*
Okay Brent. I’m going to need you to sit right there. That’s your spot. You understand? Good.
Now, Brent, I’m going to be straight up with you. I don’t trust you. It’s nothing personal. It’s just a lifetime of a bunch of ‘em behaving like shitheads and inflicting trauma and worse on the rest of us. It’s why I became a cop. Because you know who mostly does the crimes?
Well, Brent, it’s not women.
Good guess. And there is nothing more satisfying than slapping a set of cuffs on a shithead predator. Of course I have to work alongside a fair number of shithead predators in this precinct but that is another story.
So what I need to know, Brent, before we go any further in this conversation, is are you a shithead predator?
Well, they all say that, don’t they? They’re all good guys. Murderiest man I ever met was crying “But I’m a good guy” as we cuffed him.
What I want to know is – how am I supposed to believe you are actually one of the actually good guys.
Now – there you are. You’re right. There is nothing you could say and no way to prove it and the fact that you realize that suggests to me that there might be some hope for you. Good. Alright then.
You got a shot. Now, tell me why you need a dragon friendly law enforcement officer.
Dragonslayer? A woman?
Why from out of town, I wonder.
Good point. Aren’t a lot of hunters in the urban jungle.
Right. How can they be sure they got a non-dragon? Get one from out of town. Those motherfuckers. Importing a murderer.
So you want to help stop this possible genocide?
I mean – I don’t know. The dragonslayers I’ve run into so far won’t be happy until there are no dragons left. The fact that they’ve enlisted the help of a woman suggests to me that they’re taking this more seriously than they have and also that they’re getting smarter.
Are they getting smarter, Brent? Are men getting smarter?
I’m losing patience with your whole gender, Brent. Not that I had much patience in the first place but my nerves are getting thinner and thinner. They’re going to start snapping before too long. Nothing personal, Brent. Nothing personal but…anyway. We got a dragonslayer among us. What are we going to do?
You’re right. That is why you’re here. None of those bozos in the front office would lift a finger to help those girls. Not even to stop a wholesale slaughter. But you and me and the shadow police force, we can maybe do a little something. What do you know?
Right.
Okay.
A survivalist? Huh.
Sure.
Oh lord. Please tell me she’s not trophy hunting a dragonskin or some shit.
Right. We don’t know.
Packets? Huh. Did you see one?
We’ve got her identity sorted then. You’ve got her name and her company and even a few aliases.
Sure. Nicknames. And her number. Okay.
But what we don’t know are her plans.
You think you can keep working her?
Well, it sounds like you’re doing a great job getting her to talk. She clearly trusts you – as evidenced by that number in your phone – which I assume is real since she gave you her business card. Do you think you can keep this going? Maybe get a drink or something?
So. What we’ll do, Brent – is set up a little surveillance. You get a drink with her tomorrow night. We’ll wire you up and we’ll follow her, see where this meeting is.
You’ll just do what you do, Brent.
Don’t you screw us, Brent.
I’ll be listening on the wire so I’ll know if you screw us. And if you screw us, Brent. I don’t like to imagine what will happen to you. You understand me? I’m the law enforcement liaison for an association of dragons, Brent. I don’t fuck around. And neither do they. They may seem like a bunch of real sweet girls and Brent, they are. They are the sweetest girls you’ll ever meet in your life – but give them the slightest reason, Brent, and they will eat you for lunch. Literally. And maybe you think Ashley would save you – but in her dragon form, I’d be surprised if she could pick you out of a line up.
Sure. Yeah. Of course I know. You think I’d trust the word of a man just cause he said so? No. I needed the details, Brent, before I’d trust you to tell me one true word. How do I know you’re not a dragonslayer yourself, in here trying to break up the support within the police department? I don’t know what you’re about, Brent. So yeah, I got Ashley’s story about you first. Safety precautions, you know.
Listen, old habits die hard and if you came in here telling my fellow officers that you’d been attacked by a dragon, they’d believe you in a heartbeat. And they’d probably believe you if you told them about the Dragonslayer. But they wouldn’t do anything about it, Brent. They would not lift a finger to help one of my girls. Not one finger. They don’t care if the slayers are the scum of the earth – incels and Nazis and the whole disgusting nine yards. They wouldn’t bust open one of their rings if you paid ‘em a million dollars. Well – some of them might do it for a cool million but it would take that at least. I would even be willing to bet they’ve got a few guys from the force in their little dark circle. But you didn’t hear that from me.
So – let’s have you text Kala the Dragonslayer – set up the drinks. I’m going to suggest you go to The Floating Cork.
it’s quiet in there so we can get some decent sound. We can hear if you need help
It’s also around the corner from your hotel
Well – that’s a good question, Brent. Let’s have you skip breakfast with her tomorrow. Tell her you’re sorry you’re going to miss her for breakfast tomorrow but can she go for drinks tomorrow night instead?
Yeah, go ahead.
Let me see what you wrote.
Good. Send it.
I’ll walk you out.
I don’t want any of my colleagues engaging with you. If I walk you out, they’ll think you’re my witness so they’ll leave you alone.
I’ll be in touch tomorrow.
(Sound of a dragon roar. Sound of Bossa Nova record being put on. Door opening.)
*
Ashley
Well. This is nice – having you over in the middle of the day. Come on in.
I hope you like grilled cheese because it’s about all I have in my cooking repertoire.
I feel bad making you come here for lunch but I wanted to talk about some stuff that’s probably – no, definitely better not to discuss in a restaurant.
Oh, man. That’s a genius business idea. Dragon Friendly restaurants – where we could go out and talk about real things without worrying. Because I am really not interested in learning to cook.
Listen. I just wanted to thank you for looking out for me and the others. I know Detective Ana is a little much – and I just wanted to thank you for being willing to do all you’re doing.
Oh, God, no. Not at all. Listen – you’re good at flirting. You have to use your powers for good. If mine would do any good, I’d for sure use them.
I think it’s super exciting actually. Flirt your face off tonight. If I didn’t think it might make you self-conscious, I would totally ask to listen in, just because it’s exciting.
No, no. I won’t. I want to hear all about it in the end – but I don’t want to do anything that might jeopardize the operation.
No, I just wanted to be sure you knew this whole thing had the Ashley stamp of approval.
I don’t know. I guess if I was you and I started going out with a dragon who almost killed me when I went back to their place the first time – well, I don’t know, I’d be nervous about flirting with a slayer, even if it was to save their brethren. Or sistren in my case. Did you know that sistren was the girl version of brethren? That blew my mind when I found that out – because no one ever uses it.
Yeah – that’s right. Brethren and Sistren. I guess the sistren never mattered before.
Anyway – I’m excited for your sting operation and I just wanted to say that you should do whatever you have to do to get it done. If you have to kiss her or take her home or whatever….
Well, I’ll be jealous, of course and I’ll hate her all the more than I already do – but I can manage my jealousy, if you can manage the murderer.
What’s she like?
Wha? Wow. You just never know about people, do you? I mean, if I met someone like that at a party, I’d totally like her. And now she’s trying to kill me.
No - probably not me specifically. I don’t think I’ve been identified on their lists.
Oh, yeah. We’re trying to keep a handle on who has been exposed and how much, so we can make sure they’re extra protected. Those who’ve been doxxed by these groups are particularly vulnerable and I’m fairly confident I’m not on their lists.
They’re not too shy about letting us know when they know who we are. They’ve had a couple of decades to get good at trolling. They have a lot of practice. They’re good at hiding their own identities and good at letting us know they have ours. It’s a fairly treacherous situation. Makes me hungry for incels, I confess.
Sorry. Shouldn’t have mentioned the eating. Sorry. That was insensitive. I am hungry for this grilled cheese, though. You?
Yeah. Grilled cheese, man! I can’t cook much – but I can grill some cheese. When you go back home, you’ll have to tell them all about the dragon made grilled cheese.
Ha! Can you imagine? Oh my god. I wish I wasn’t all fear-lust and fire-torching when I was in dragon form, I would totally try a flamecooked grilled cheese.
Oh man. It would be so good. Like – charred on the outside and, like, gooey on the inside.
Thanks, Brent. You’re gooey on the inside and I like it. I’m going to be a real mess when you’re gone.
You will?
I mean. I figured you must like me a little since you hung around after I almost killed you. But you never know.
I don’t know. Like maybe I’m just a curiosity, like a fun story to tell at the bar. Like, if if I met – I don’t know – a werewolf…like, I’d be interested, you know?
Not that I have a thing for werewolves – just that it would be fun to tell the grandchildren that I dated a werewolf once. I wonder if it’s like that.
I suppose you could very well be a werewolf. The moon hasn’t been full these last few days, you could absolutely be keeping a secret like that. But I don’t think werewolves exist, so I doubt that you’re one of them.
You don’t think, if werewolves existed, they wouldn’t reach out to a bunch of dragons when we emerged to, like, ally up or something?
Well – sure. If werewolves suddenly started coming out of the woodwork, we’d definitely reach out. Definitely.
Because it’s very lonely holding secrets like this sometimes. I wouldn’t want anyone to have to hold it all on their own.
Yeah – that’s me: Sweetheart dragon heart.
Awww Thanks, my werewolf. Wanna show me your wolf qualities over there? We can promise each other not to transform in my bed.
Well, sure, werewolf…let’s go.
*
(Dragoning theme credit music begins. Strings. Bells. It’s a little creepy but also fun. Like mischievous creatures sneaking around after midnight.)
EMILY:
The Dragoning was produced by Messenger Theatre Company and written by Emily Rainbow Davis
The Dragoning Theme was composed by Scott Ethier
Sound design by Matt Powell
This episode featured Sevrin Anne Mason as Jenny, Vickie Tanner as Sergeant Ana Rengel and Emily Harford as Ashley.
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This was our penultimate episode. Our next episode will be our finale. Please support us via Ko-fi, Guidestar or PayPal. Those links are in the show notes.
Messenger Theatre Company is a not-for-profit organization and we are entirely reliant on your support.
This episode was recorded in the fall of 2020 where we are still recording pandemic style.
Stay safe out there everyone. And watch out for dragons.
(Music resolves.)