The Dragoning - Episode One
Transcript
(The first few notes of the piano sound nice and theatre-y but then they start to deconstruct, a bit like a music box going awry. Strings come in. Men droning. Are they monks?)
EMILY:
Messenger Theatre Company presents
The Dragoning
(lots of voices saying The Dragoning. The beat drops. There are some distorted strings or cries in rhythm.)
EMILY:
Episode One. Ray.
(The music sputters out. The sound of cab door closing.)
RAY:
Where to?
Oh sure. We’ll get you there safely, not to worry. No dragons in this cab and it is fireproofed. It won’t be long.
That your girlfriend that saw you to the cab?
Hook up? Like a one night stand? No.
Wow – even one night stands are looking after men now. I never would have thought. Used to be the reverse at this hour – men putting their ladies in cars, trying to keep them safe and now we got the reverse. Even for a one night stand. What has this world come to?
Oh I’m sure I have – I’m sure I have had lots of dragons in here but I just keep my mouth shut when I’ve got a lady in the cab these days. I don’t want to run the risk of saying something stupid, you know? Better to say nothing at all. Don’t be lulled into complacency just because they’re nice and polite. The nice and polite ones are the dangerous ones. I had one in here a couple months ago – sweet as can be – reminded me of my daughter, truth be told. All, “yes, sir, no, sir, - would it be too much trouble? And could you just drop me at the corner?”
And when I let her out, she hadn’t gone a block when suddenly – blam, she’s a dragon. She ate up some guy she’d just passed a moment before. I’m guessing he made the mistake of telling her to smile or something. That’s a mistake he won’t make again, let me tell you. Or any mistake.
Oh, she licked her dragon lips and quick as a blink she was walking along the street in her high heels innocent as can be. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I’d never have believed it. She turned around and waved at me, too. Knew I was watching. I felt like she could smell my fear and was just taking it in like someone outside a Krispy Kreme when they’re making the donuts.
It’s a funny time to be alive, man, I’ll tell you. They’ve got people collecting stories from the dragons themselves and the reasons for why they’re eating someone or setting him on fire…it’s chilling. Have you seen those?
Oh - it’s such little stuff. It’s things like, “Taking up too much space on the elevator. Interrupting at a meeting. Talking too loudly on the phone.”
I mean – in the beginning we thought they might be vengeance dragons – they ate a lot of rapists and wife beaters and such… but it’s not just rapists and murderers anymore. Talking too loudly on the phone! Why, if I ate everyone who talked too loudly on the phone I wouldn’t have any customers, would I? I exaggerate.
Come to think of it, I understand the impulse to eat a loud talker. You’re not a loud phone talker, are you?
Just kidding, man. Don’t worry. There aren’t any male dragons. I’m not eating anyone. I just drive the taxi and hope I don’t get killed, you know?
Oh, I’m one of the few male drivers left. It’s ironic – men feel more comfortable with male drivers and male passengers are the most vulnerable, especially at night so you would think we would be in high demand.
Well – a lot of them – god rest their souls – got dragoned in one way or another. And who knew – but a lot of women were waiting in the wings for those jobs.
Some of the women I work with now, they tell me they’d always wanted to drive a cab but got shut out whenever they tried to apply. So it’s good they’re getting a shot now, of course.
I don’t think any of them are dragons. They don’t seem the type.
Oh, I don’t know. They’re tough. Direct. They don’t hesitate to tell you what’s up. The dragon women aren’t like that. At least not that I have seen.
I mean – I have a theory. Doesn’t everyone? But yeah – I think it’s like the dragon women spent their whole lives suppressing their reptilian brains and the anger centers and the rage button. (I’m not a brain guy, I know, I know – but whatever the technical terms are.) They suppressed them and it all got hardened up into that dragon egg gene and then poof – they are two beings – the dragon and the woman.
And the women don’t always recall what happened when they were dragons – it’s like the dragon brain takes over and does its business and then fades as soon as the moment has passed.
That’s why it’s the nice sweet ones that flip – because they never learned to stomp their feet or whatever.
One of the ways to protect yourself if you’re with one is to just let yourself be afraid. Like, the way to avoid them turning into dragons and eating or enflaming you is to just lean into your fear. In their woman forms, they eat it.
What’s not to understand? They eat your fear – and that is enough to sate the dragon. The woman senses your fear – feels it, smells it, sees it, I don’t know – she won’t transform because she’s full, see? She doesn’t need lunch because she already ate.
Because let me tell you buddy – once she’s a dragon, there’s nothing you can do to stop what’s about to happen to you. The dragon won’t be reasoned with. The dragon doesn’t even understand words. It just sees the dumbass that called it forth and eats him. That’s it.
But if you’re afraid, man – that’s good. Because scared ones are rarely consumed.
Oh, very quickly. You’ll never see it with the naked eye. One minute you’re looking at a nice lady sipping on a lemonade – you blink – and suddenly there’s a dragon sitting there.
Of course someone has gotten it on camera. This is the great age of the image – you know they’ve filmed it and slowed it down and watched every element of the transformation.
Well – a fine mist comes out of the woman’s nose and then envelopes her in a bubble. The bubble becomes dragon shaped and then solidifies into a fully dragon shaped creature.
Sure – of course they tried that. But if you hold the nose when the dragon wants to come out, it will come out of the mouth. If you cover them both, the dragon will emerge from the ears and so on and so on.
When the dragon wants out, the dragon gets out. There is no stopping it. There were some funny videos – no, funny maybe isn’t the right word. But viral – there were some viral videos of women in meetings with nose clips on, trying to control it – and the astonishment when the dragon emerges for the mouth instead? Hilarious. Right before the carnage, of course.
Of course, they’re studying it. What do you think? We’re cavemen accepting our fate here? Some of the greatest scientists in the world are collaborating trying to get to the bottom of it. It’s just that it came on so suddenly – there’s no foundational science, you know. It’s not as if there were dragonologists sitting around waiting for the Dragoning. There are no studies of dragons. There are no precedents for this kind of transformation. The closest we can come is the butterfly and certainly there are a lot of butterfly experts on the case but again – there’s no precedent – so all these people who were used to working slowly and quietly in the academic halls are suddenly working under serious pressure.
What? Well – we all are now, man. We all know the ins and outs – how much progress has been made or not made. The news is nothing but – and our survival depends on keeping aware.
Oh, you know. I won’t ride in a subway car of all women. Men stick together when we can. We watch what we say. I’ve learned to modulate my voice. I used to be a real loud talker – my sister would tell you – I was one of those you’d hear over anyone. No more. That is a surefire way to be burnt to a crisp.
Hotel Davina, yes? Here we are, my man.
Oh thank you sir.
Brent. Great. Nice to meet you and thank you.
You be careful getting out. Give a wave to the doorman, he’ll look out for you. Here’s my card. You give me a call if you need to go anywhere else. And say hi to Willie for me.
Tell him Ray says hello and to keep it cool. He’ll tell you some stories, let me tell you.
Willie used to work over at the police station in the missing persons unit. He was there in the first flush of the Dragoning and it was just, like, an avalanche of paperwork, he said. Well – he’ll tell you. He’s just right there at the door. I should let you get inside. Be safe. Have a good night, my man. Call Ray if you need a safe ride.
(Cab door closing. Dragoning theme credit music begins. Strings. Bells. It’s a little creepy but also fun. Like mischievous creatures sneaking around after midnight.)
*
EMILY:
The Dragoning was produced by Messenger Theatre Company and written by Emily Rainbow Davis
The Dragoning Theme was composed by Scott Ethier
Our sound designer is Matt Powell
And our Sound Doula is Rick Scholwin
Ray was played and Sound Designed by Ned Massey
To hear future episodes of The Dragoning please contribute to our Indiegogo campaign. The link is in the show notes.
Messenger Theatre Company is a non-profit organization and we are entirely reliant on your support.
Please, like, review and subscribe in your favorite podcast app.
Thank you in advance for making our next episode possible.
Stay safe out there everyone. And watch out for dragons.
(Music resolves.)