Messenger Theatre Company presents Season Two of The Dragoning
Episode Seven: Ashley and Fiona
(The first few notes of the piano sound nice and theatre-y but then they start to deconstruct, a bit like a music box going awry. Strings come in. Men droning. Are they monks?)
EMILY:
Messenger Theatre Company presents
Season Two of The Dragoning
(lots of voices saying The Dragoning. The beat drops. There are some distorted strings or cries in rhythm.)
EMILY:
Episode Seven: Ashley and Fiona
(The music sputters out.)
(Prison cell buzzes open)
Episode 7
ASHLEY
Wow. Hi. This is becoming, like, a regular thing. How nice to see you.
Okay. News. Great. Hit me with the news.
Wait. What?
So she’s saying if we hire her, she can get a publicity campaign going that might get me out of this place?
Sure. Yeah. Of course – there’d be no guarantees. I could just walk around out there free? Gosh.
I mean. Yeah. Public pressure is a powerful force.
But it could backfire, couldn’t it?
Like, I don’t know, some dragon hate groups could form up and start pushing for execution or something.
Right. I guess this is why this is not an obvious solution.
Really? Back home, too? Right. So if we’re both already known, it might actually make sense to take control of the narrative.
I mean – until the hashtag works and the dragon is actually free, you’d have to be out there on your own. How do you feel about that?
Me? I trust you with my life. I mean. I already have trusted you with my life – so I have actual evidence that you have my back in a big way.
Well – at the moment, I can’t get out to speak for myself – so you speaking for me is the next best thing.
I think that the fact that you’re a man will help us, actually.
Well – just that they’ll trust you more.
I mean – The Dragoning hasn’t even happened here – not like back home. I mean – there’s a dragon in the country. C’est moi. And they told me two others let loose with some fire recently so they know dragons are coming. And – uh….if the rumors are true then there’s a whole bunch of hometown dragons here already but just super chilled out. But that’s not really The Dragoning, is it? That’s just some dragons in a place.
Until folks really take on board that any woman they see might be a dragon, The Dragoning is still to come.
Yeah, to me, The Dragoning wasn’t so much the moment when women became dragons, it was the moment when we all realized we were living in a world where any woman could be a dragon that the whole city turned upside down. It’s when men stopped going out at night. It’s when they started buying their groceries from all male delivery services. It’s when women started going running late at night. It’s when the fear tipped from the hearts of women into men. That’s The Dragoning. Not ladies who spit fire occasionally.
Right. Sorry. That’s what I was trying to explain. It’s that even before The Dragoning, people believed men more than women. They thought they were more trustworthy.
So you go on TV and explain that I’m actually a human person and not an indiscriminate beast, and people will believe you. Whereas if I went on – they’d think I was a liar – even if I wasn’t a dragon.
No, yeah. Women, too. We’ve all been drinking the same Kool-Aid our whole lives – men, women. Women trust women just as little as men do.
No, no, obviously not all women.
I don’t know. We talked about it in my DA meetings but it’s like…I guess all of us learn to be skeptical about what women say and just tend to assume men know what they’re talking about.
Like, well, there was some statistic, some study, where people trusted a news reading man more than a news reading woman by some weirdly huge margin. Some women make it past the exception bar – but – when given a choice – the majority will trust the information out of the man’s mouth first.
I mean. I don’t know. How will dragonhood impact that? Will we be believed any more now that we can roast our enemies? I wouldn’t think so. But maybe it will matter less because the fear is so extreme.
Like – women have generally feared men all this time but that didn’t stop the majority from trusting them anyway. So I’m thinking there may be some weird push/pull relationship between fear and trust.
Like, do we trust our fear and therefore trust that which we fear?
Ha! Ha! Yeah, that’s me – Ashley the Philosopher. Just give me a PhD now.
Just hanging out behind glass thinking great thoughts. That’s me. It’s a hard job but someone had to do it.
Yeah. I think we should. Yes. I’ll sign whatever paperwork if they’ll let it through – though I’m skeptical that they’d let it through. I mean – they really want to control the narrative themselves – they just can’t decide what they want that to be.
Maybe what we need to do is have you go out solo – do your magic – and I can sign whatever and join you once your magic has done its thing.
Ha. Yeah. They probably will think you’re actually magic.
Yes. Because you ARE! Shhhhh. We can’t reveal your secret magic powers in here, they’ll seize you, too!
No – you’re right. These people are so credulous, they will probably take you in just on the off chance that we weren’t joking around.
I guess once you have to accept the existence of dragons, it all becomes possible.
No – you’re right. Dragons aren’t magic. There’s a science to it, we just don’t understand it yet.
But yeah. I wish there were magic, too – and that you had some of it. What would you do with magic if you had it?
Awww. Thanks. I’d free you, too. Oh wait. That’s silly. You’re not locked up! But if you were and I had magic, I would free you.
And what else?
You can use your magic for whatever you want. Isn’t that the point of it?
Oh yeah. I mean – sure – would you use it for yourself or for the greater good? That’s a good question.
Oh, me? I’d want to use it for the greater good but I’d actually just use it for myself and feel really guilty about it.
See – we do have stuff in common! So what magic would you do for yourself?
Flying is always a fun choice. I’d like to fly, too.
No – I’m not a flying dragon. None of us are.
Yeah but you’ve seen those wings; they’re not really flight worthy. They’re sort of like, decorative. And they’re expressive.
No, actually. They do do more than that, you’re right.
They act like a sort of ventilation system.
Well, you put a lot of fire in a place, there’s going to be smoke and the way smoke is, it pretty much goes wherever it wants – so if you don’t want a face full of smoke, you flap those wings and it’ll tend to waft in the other direction.
I know from experience, yes.
Is that weird to hear? I’m sorry. It’s just – you’re curious, I like to share and my defenses are down with you so I sometimes don’t stop to think how some facts might impact you.
Right. And then I immediately DO think about how it might impact you and then I worry. That’s the cycle.
Okay good. Good. That’s good to know.
Right. You WANT to know things. You get a kick out of new information.
Is that why you like to travel so much, do you think?
Yeah. It is hard to know why any of us like the stuff we like. I couldn’t even begin to explain to you why I like Busby Berkely musicals so much, I just do.
No, there’s nothing I’m really afraid to tell you.
Sure – just, like, stuff I protect you from.
I would. But I don’t really want to share with our overlords if you know what I mean. Eventually, we’ll get all the secrets out and there’ll be nothing left to be curious about!
No, no, of course I am endlessly fascinating. Of course. I am a font of fascination.
Really? Who?
The doorman at your hotel…oh! Wow. I did not even put that together! I still think of him as the guy who worked in the missing person’s department. I didn’t even, for a second, think about his current day job.
Former! Really.
What’s he doing now? Did he quit school? What’s happening?
Oh. I see. Right – sure. A private gig related to his school work. Cool. Cool.
That’s awesome. Man – dreams can come true, I guess. Not mine, obviously – but some do!
No. No. I will not mope. My dreams were likely tanked before I ever set foot in this place so I cannot fall into a hole of despair.
No. I do have to work really hard not to sink into total discouragement in here, it’s true. It’s not, like…uplifting in here, you know?
Well – the good news is that I get a lot of practice at not dragoning out.
Because it is NOT dragon friendly in here. If I dragon up – I end up pressed into walls and furniture and it is not comfortable.
Not at all. So I try to control it and I’m successful a lot of the time.
No, what’s funny is – a lot of the guys they bring in here… they WANT them to trigger me but when they try to trigger me, I just find it hilarious. It’s the unintentional asshole-ness that can trip me up. But otherwise – I’m getting good.
It’s not how I would have chosen to practice but I’m trying to look on the bright side.
Right! Like those guys in prisons who get super jacked up and strong because they’ve got nothing to do but work out. I’m, like, dragon jacked up. I guess.
No – because ultimately I would like to be able to control it. Like – dragoning out in a café is not a great way to win friends and influence people. Though certainly, I quickly influence them to be afraid of me – which is sort of fun in a weird way – but we’re not going to hang out after that. After that, they’re going to run and while I might enjoy getting to drink my coffee without some asshole horning in on my space, I’m not sure my favorite cafes would stay open if I ate one of their customers.
No, no, entirely hypothetically, of course, of course.
I’m just saying – if I could figure out how to check the transformation before it starts, I’d be back in the driver’s seat in a way that I would appreciate. For a lot of reasons.
Honestly, it’s probably more dangerous in places that aren’t Dragon City.
Exactly. Because of the fear.
Right. They’ve learned to be afraid there – whereas here – the balance has not yet shifted and all the douchebags all still think they’re somehow immune because they’ve been immune to all previous challenges – if they were even aware of the challenges in the first place.
I don’t know. I think of this sort of shitty event that happened in my home state a few years ago. All these guys were like, “I’d like to see them try that here.” As if they would be parading the streets with baseball bats or something.
And when The Dragoning first started – there was a lot of posturing. Just, like, so much. “I’d like to see some dragon try and eat me.” Sort of stuff. And this may be uncouth to say – but most of those guys got their wish. They did see some dragon try to eat them. And succeeded, too. And that’s the thing they saw. Anyway – I thinks this country is still in the “I’d like to see them try to eat me” mode.
Right. Guys in Dragon City know better than to tempt the fates like that.
But. Even so. I’m getting so much control now – I think I could go to a mall and not cause another international incident.
If only they would let me out to try.
Well – it’s good news for us, too. You and me.
Yeah. Because the more control I have, the safer you are with me. So these guys are doing me a favor. A shitty favor. A favor I’d prefer another way of receiving – like at a class or something instead…but still. A favor.
Or maybe it’s just a freaking silver lining.
Positive Thinking Dragon! Pollyanna Dragon! Blue Skies Dragon!
I try. I try. I really do try.
I mean, yeah, that sort of thing does come naturally to me but I also have to work at it in circumstances like this, you know? It’s not like I actually think being locked up is great.
But – it is better than being dead – which I might have been at home – were it not for some very heroic people.
See? I can do it. I can stay cheerful. No problem.
Bright Side Dragon. Always Sunny Ashley.
(Sound of cell opening)
No. You’re right. It does suck in here. I wish I were out. And maybe I will be soon.
Go forth with my blessings. Hashtag Free the Dragon.
Thank you.
(Banging)
No, he’s going. Thank you, officer. We see you.
Thank you.
And thank you.
*
(Dragon roars)
(Sound of ice in a glass. The patio.)
FIONA
Thank you again for your help at the convention. It ended up being a real lark of a night and you really managed those sales group guys in the lobby.
Well – we were worried at first when they started off making fun of you. Like, would that put you off your game, your task…but, it was like judo what you did. You took the way they were making fun of you and turned it around on them. And you got them to try knitting! I swear, if we hadn’t had important things to figure out, we could have watched you distracting those guys all night.
No, yeah, we did. Thank you. We’re going to roll out our plan very soon. Now what do you want to talk to me about?
Oh. Interesting. Self reporting? To the government? It seems risky.
Okay. Right. Just a couple of locations. Un-confirmed data, no identity.
Sure – yeah. The thing is – and I can see why this might be useful to explore – a lot of the dragons are having to work a little harder to keep things in check, as it were. So – like, preventing discrimination against us and preventing a lot of needless death would be pretty good.
I guess we’re wondering, can we have a dragoning without the loss of so much life? So far, we’re doing pretty well and before they start locking local dragons up, they should know that we’re actually managing things pretty well.
Sure – yeah. I’ll take it to the council – see what they say.
Sure – what else?
Oh huh. Interesting.
Free the dragon campaign.
I mean. We did discuss having a PR person ourselves. It is, essentially, a PR problem, I suppose. How to ready the public for the dragons’ presence.
If we can turn things around for Ashley – who everyone already knows is a man-eating liability, the rest of the dragons are in a much more secure position. She’ll be like our advance man.
Right – I guess technically you’re the advance man for her and that ultimately might help the rest. Or it could backfire. We don’t know.
Well, it’s tricky – because we don’t want a mess like Dragon City ended up with – but at the same time, we’re not uninterested in some of the changes in circumstances they have there.
I mean – they turned the world upside down. There are a lot of us who are very interested in that upside down world. Could dragons rule this city? Could women? How about this country? I don’t know if we stand a chance if we don’t set a lot of things on fire first. So one of the big debates among the dragons here is – can we have a peaceful hand-off? A smooth change. A frictionless transition. A lot of the dragons say no – that nothing will really change without a fight while the others want to control themselves and adapt the world slowly.
It’s the age old feminist struggle, really – you’ve got the radicals and the liberals. They both want change but some want it fast and some want it slow.
No? Well it’s not always clear. I always thought of myself as a slow change liberal feminist, happy to make incremental shifts – but then I woke up one day ready to burn it all down. Life takes you to funny places. I guess you know that better than a lot of people.
Yeah – so. I’ll talk to the committee and see what they say. But just – you know – we know you’re not beholden to us. You’re a friend of the dragons, like me – but your strategy has to serve you first. And if we don’t agree – we – well – it’s just a thing where we don’t all agree all the time.
I just feel like it’s important that you know that, that you recognize your own agency in this situation, because you are one person. Or maybe one person and one dragon, depending - and we are a lot more than that. You’re nimble in a way that an organization like ours can never be. I wouldn’t want you to not take advantage of that nimbleness. Yeah. You don’t need our approval. Remember that – in case you don’t get it.
I mean, even Ashley is not part of our organization. She’s our guest. We welcome her with us as an honorary member – but ultimately if she’s part of any group, it isn’t us. So you two need to do what you have to do to look after the two of you. I’m not saying we don’t have your best interests at heart – but we do have competing strategies and competing ideologies. So…I just think it may be important for you to keep that in mind.
Yeah. Sure. It’s my pleasure.
And thank you again for your help with the conference. It made a big difference. And it is good for a lot of the dragons to see a man being helpful and supportive of our cause.
No, because there are many in the group who see no point in men whatsoever. Some don’t see why anyone ever bothered. Some were metaphorically burned by some man or two or three or four. Some are just tired. But they’re all part of a subgroup that really doesn’t see the point of men.
Oh, they joke – you know, “I’ve got one of those sticky pads that open jars for me. Why would I keep a man around?”
You don’t know those? They give them out at conferences and that – just, like a rubbery thing about the size of a cocktail napkin that you put over a jar lid to help you open it.
Oh because they print stuff on them – like the name of your company or organization. You could put a hashtag on it, I’d guess, yes. You can print whatever you like.
#FreeTheDragon jar openers. I’m into it. Sell ‘em or give ‘em away at events.
It’d cost you, I’m sure. It’s not cheap to have stuff made. But it might help, who knows.
Oh and the Knitting Orchids – the arm of it that does a lot of actual knitting, are meeting at a bar this weekend. They asked me to let you know you’re invited. Could be a little bit of a lark.
No, it’s not in an official capacity. I mean, of course it couldn’t hurt – but they thought you were getting the hang of it so you might enjoy a knitting gathering – especially knowing that you’ve taught all those guys.
Yeah, I’ll send you the details. We’ll check back in about PR and everything – but I think we’re all clear.
Thanks, Brent. See you soon.
(Dragon Roar)
*
(Dragoning theme credit music begins. Strings. Bells. It’s a little creepy but also fun. Like mischievous creatures sneaking around after midnight.)
EMILY:
The Dragoning is produced by Messenger Theatre Company and written by Emily Rainbow Davis
The Dragoning Theme was composed by Scott Ethier
Sound design by Matt Powell
This episode featured Emily Hartford as Ashley and Mischa Ipp as Fiona.
Messenger Theatre Company is a not-for-profit organization and we are entirely reliant on your support.
Thank you in advance for making our next episode possible.
Stay safe out there everyone. And watch out for dragons.
(Music resolves.)