The Dragoning - Episode Four
Transcript
(The first few notes of the piano sound nice and theatre-y but then they start to deconstruct, a bit like a music box going awry. Strings come in. Men droning. Are they monks?)
EMILY:
Messenger Theatre Company presents
The Dragoning
(lots of voices saying The Dragoning. The beat drops. There are some distorted strings or cries in rhythm.)
EMILY:
Episode Four. Ashley and Ray.
(The music sputters out. Sound of a bar crowd. Bossa Nova music.)
Ashley
Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry to bother you – but the place is so full tonight. Is it okay if I sit here? It’s literally the only stool in the place.
Thank you so much. You must have such good karma to have gotten this prime spot at the bar.
I don’t know. I’m not really sure what karma is entirely. Like – I believe in some sense of circularity of experience – like, good will come around eventually. And probably bad will too. I don’t know. There are all these examples of karma not really working the way we’d want it to. It might really be random. All of it. My goodness I’m rambling. I’m sorry. I’m Ashley.
Oh, hi, Brent. You’re from somewhere. I can tell from the accent. Where’s that?
Oh, sure. Of course. That’s far away. Did you have a long flight?
I don’t know if I could do it – a flight that long? What do you do with yourself?
Really? What did you watch?
That one is so funny. It’s the only one of those I saw. Usually I see so many movies but this year, everything’s different.
I guess it could be The Dragoning. That’s an interesting theory. I sort of thought it was because I got promoted to management and it’s been kicking my ass. What do you do, Brent?
Really?! What do people ask each other for small talk there then?
Seriously? Wow. Maybe I should move.
I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about getting out of town for years.
No, no, I love it here. I do. It’s just that it can be a grind, you know? And you always wonder what your life would be like if you’d taken another path, don’t you? I mean, don’t you?
Golly – I just wish I’d ever been that sure. Have you always been that way?
I’m so jealous.
Oh, you know. Did I choose the right college? The right major? The right boyfriend? The right city to live in? The right apartment? The right neighborhood? The right job? Every point could have gone another way, you know? But somehow you don’t feel like that? Is that because of where you’re from, do you think?
No, sorry, of course not – how could you know? Sorry. It was a silly question for me to ask you. Sorry.
Sorry. That’s just my way. I had a boyfriend who was always telling me to stop apologizing so much and guess what I said?
You got it. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Anyway. Sorry for talking your ear off while you’re just trying to have a drink and relax. You’re probably waiting on someone and I’ve taken their seat. I should leave you alone.
Oh, really?
No, I couldn’t.
Gosh, thank you so much. I take your seat and you offer me a drink. This is so much good energy. My karma must be pretty good, too.
Oh, a gin and tonic, please. Thank you.
No, any old gin will do. Whatever’s cheap.
No, I haven’t tried that.
I mean, sure. You’re going to introduce me to something wonderful and then I’m going to be spoiled for life, aren’t I?
No, no, I’m joking. Sorry. I’d love to try something new. Sorry. Thank you. You’re a real sweetheart. Do they make ‘em all like that where you come from?
Sure. Of course. Sure. Well, thank you. Thank you.
Oh hey, Morgan, yeah hey. How’s it going? Busy tonight, huh?
Oh, this, this is Brent. He very kindly gave me his neighboring seat and THEN, Morgan, then, he ordered me a drink. I tell you, my karma is really turning around tonight.
Sure, you can touch my sleeve. Of course. I will be happy to take on a new career as a good luck charm - a good karma generator.
Yeah, yeah, Brent here says its delicious, so…Thanks, Morgan.
No, not very often. But often enough. God, it’s so embarrassing when you’ve been to a place so often they know your drink. But yeah, I work over in the box office down the street so this is where I come after my shift sometimes. So – embarrassingly – they know me here.
I guess you’re right. It would be much worse if they saw me coming and were like, “Oh here comes Ashley, somebody hide the gin!” That would be bad.
No, you’re right. You’re right. Thank you.
Are you sure I can’t get this?
Well, gosh, thanks again. Cheers!
So, what brought you over, Brent? Business? Vacation?
I’ve never really been a tourist. It seems like hard work! I mean, we make fun of tourists around here usually but they’re not like you. You’re not who we mean when we roll our eyes and say, “Tourists!”
Because they’re moving so slow through fast moving places – stopping and talking really loudly in quiet places – just not really paying attention to what’s going on around them. And I can tell you pay attention. You’re, like, curious. You’re interested in things.
Awww. Thanks. I think you’re interesting, too. Maybe I should come be a tourist in your country. Where should I go? What should I see?
Wow. I never even heard of those things – and now I really want to see them. I’ll have to save up some money for vacation time.
Oh, I don’t get much. It’s usually only a weekend to drive down to the shore or whatever. But someday I’d like to take a big trip like that.
Did it take you a long time to plan your trip over here?
Oh wow – they have that? Just, like, last minute deals? And you were just like, “Oh, sure, I’ll just pick up and go check it out cause it’s a deal?” That’s very spontaneous. I’m impressed. I’m not generally very spontaneous. I want to be – but I’m usually not. I mean, I’m a regular here – so that probably tells you something.
Aww, thank you. I think I have good taste, too. But I am biased. Were you always spontaneous or did you learn it somehow?
Yeah, I think it’s probably one of those things that’s our personality – we’re, like, born with some traits. Probably spontaneity is one of those personality markers, you know – like – extroversion/introversion or something. Or open-ness…where you fall on the open-ness spectrum is a thing – though I don’t really know what it means. Sorry. I think I’m pretty open but maybe open-ness is spontaneity? And I’m just not as spontaneous as I would like to be.
Gosh, I don’t remember what the other measures were. Are. Sorry. Apparently they are the only scientifically accurate personality measures.
They say that Meyers Briggs is basically junk science – although it does feature one of the same aspects so I don’t think it’s 100% junk.
Oh, yeah. Over at the theatre I work at, the management got all obsessed with Meyers-Briggs and made the whole staff take the test.
Me? I’m an ENFP. Did you ever take it?
That makes sense. I can see that.
I mean, it’s junk science but it’s fun to think about. Like Astrology. I think it’s probably all a silly game – but I’d still love to know what your sign is.
Mmm. Hmmm. Of course. It all goes together. Like a personality puzzle.
Who me? Aries.
If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.
Well, it’s the ram. Best beware my horns.
No, no. A ram’s horns aren’t sharp. But they will head butt you with them if you’re in their way. Sweet as a little lamb but beware the horns of the full grown ram.
Oh, yeah – I’m very dangerous. Very. Hasn’t anyone warned you? I’m dangerous, right, Morgan?
See? Very dangerous. She told you.
Really? Everyone’s been talking your ear off about dragons, huh? Well, I’m glad I’m the first to actually give you a normal experience. Everyone’s so obsessed, it’s like you need a dragon-free zone. There should be bars and cafes where you can’t talk about them. Just…moratorium on boring old dragon talk.
No, no, I’m sure it was like this during the Depression. At some point probably everyone had just had enough depression talk. And that’s why they went to the movies – especially the big splashy ones and the comedies. I like those big splashy ones the best.
Yeah! It’s hard to find screenings of them – but I’d love to see all the Busby Berkeley movies on a big screen.
Oh, yeah. We do have an art house cinema here and they show classic films a couple of days a week – but they’re almost always the serious ones – like, award winners or something. I mean, Citizen Kane is fine but I’d like to see, like, Gold Diggers of 1933.
Have you seen that?
See? They probably don’t show those where you’re from either. It’s hard to even find them on TV. But I really want to see it on the big screen one day.
Oh. You caught me. What gave me away? The box office job?
Well, yeah, that’s how I got the job. I went in to audition for She Loves Me and saw a job notice for the box office. I mean, I’d love to be in movies but they don’t really make so many big chorus line type movies anymore. I figure I gotta get the experience onstage first and then move out to Hollywood – see if I can inspire someone to do some Busby Berkeley revivals.
Thank you. I think I can be pretty persuasive.
Speaking of which – could I persuade you to come back to my apartment?
Sorry to be so forward. It’s kind of a citywide personality change but probably foreign men find it a little jarring.
Sorry. Are you jarred?
Oh, good. Okay. It’s not far from here.
Let’s go.
(Sound of dragon roar. The sound of a car door.)
*
Ray
Well – hello there. I didn’t expect to see you again so soon. I’m glad you called. Your number came up as overseas so I didn’t know what was about to happen. Was Interpol coming after me? Oh man. You look rough. You alright?
Oh man. You’re singed. I can smell it now. Oh man. Oh man. You need me to take you to the hospital?
Got it. Hotel Davina it is, then,
She didn’t get you much, then. Just the edges of your clothes and hair. How’d you get off so easy? Not that a singeing isn’t traumatic. I’m sorry, man, I don’t mean to imply that…it’s just that if you were close enough to get singed, you could have been eaten or torched.
She did what?
She told you to run?
Wait. Wait. Stop. Tell me again.
She got a look in her eye and told you to run and you did and then when you looked back from the door, she was a dragon and she only managed to singe you before you got out and closed the door. Do I have that right?
Oh, man. What was that look in her eye? Like a glare?
Her pupils?
Like a cat? Or a snake? Damn, man, I wish I’d spent more time looking at animals’ pupils. Who has a diamond shape?
O, listen, man, I’m sorry. What do you need? I got a flask of whiskey in the glovey. Not for me, you understand – for situations like these. You need a swig?
How’d it happen, man? It’s pretty unusual that she warned you. That’s a first.
Ok. You’re at her place. You’re not afraid.
You’re having a glass of wine and some crackers. Nice.
You said that. Yeah. You’re not afraid. She’s nice and sweet. Oh, I’m starting to see where this is going.
Well, she got mad that you weren’t afraid, my man. Dragons feed on fear. I’m sure the girl part of her wanted to get busy with you, probably liked being with a fearless man who might make her feel ladylike. But the dragon part of her needed you to be afraid – aware of the risk you were taking in being alone with her. The girl part told you to run before the dragon could take her over.
Well, the good news is that you probably left a good amount of fear behind you when you took off – so that dragon is fed now.
I’m glad you had my number in your phone, my man and I’m sorry you needed it.
Was that your first dragon?
Oh, I don’t know about that. The only people who can definitively say they’ve seen their last dragons are those who’ve been eaten or torched. You? I don’t know, man. I’m sorry.
Oh, sure. If I had anywhere to go, I’d get out of here, too. But reports are going around. I mean – we’re not under quarantine here…they can go anywhere they want. They might have already gone.
See? Yeah. Yours wants to go to Hollywood – others have dreams of foreign lands. Dragons will travel. I can pretty much guarantee that this will not be the only dragon city. Willie’s working on projections for how the dragoning will spread.
Oh, he told you?
Well – check and see if your city’s on his list and hope that the Dragoning will be slow to arrive. Maybe you have seen your last dragon. I know I haven’t.
Here you are, my man. Take care. And have a safe flight home. Good luck. And take care of those burns.
(Dragoning theme credit music begins. Strings. Bells. It’s a little creepy but also fun. Like mischievous creatures sneaking around after midnight.)
EMILY:
The Dragoning was produced by Messenger Theatre Company and written by Emily Rainbow Davis
The Dragoning Theme was composed by Scott Ethier
Sound design by Matt Powell
Our Sound Doula was Rick Scholwin
This episode featured Emily Hartford as Ashley and Ned Massey as Ray.
To hear future episodes of The Dragoning please contribute to our Indiegogo campaign. The link is in the show notes.
Messenger Theatre Company is a not-for-profit organization and we are entirely reliant on your support.
This episode was recorded in the spring of 2020 in the middle of a pandemic with contributors from around the epicenter.
Thank you in advance for making our next episode possible.
Stay safe out there everyone. And watch out for dragons.
(Music resolves.)