Session Two Transcript
KACEY: Previously in Session One
LORI: So I looked down and there he was. Still shouting, still swinging his bottle but about ten inches tall. I’d never seen anything like it. He was doll-sized. Just about the size of a Barbie.
KACEY: I’m sorry that happened to you, Lori – though I will say I’m glad that it brought you here to join us. And your experience brings me right back to my own first encounter with the Defense.
LEILA: Same
. BRIA and MARI: Yep.
KACEY: And while I suppose anything’s possible, I don’t think you’re a witch. You just have the Defense. Like all of us.
MARI: I got these flashes of just looking down at my first pile of ash and wondering where that man went. And why did he leave his corncob pipe behind?
LEILA: He had a corncob pipe? Was he old?
MARI: No – just pretentious.
BRIA: I thought my first few were interventions from God. I mean – I prayed for help and suddenly my attacker fell to the ground. I thought it was God’s work.
KACEY: Who’s to say it isn’t?
BRIA: My pastor, for one.
LORI: Is there no way to control it? To stop it?
MARI: Sure. Stop getting threatened and your defense won’t have to defend you.
LORI: Is the guy I made doll sized going to get big again? And will he come after me?
LEILA: Honestly – he’s lucky to be alive – even if he is small. If he’d tried that with any of us, I don’t think there’s a chance he’d still be breathing.
MARI: Big pile of ash, my friends. Very big pile of ash he’d be.
LORI: Thank you everyone. I think I’ll sleep tonight for the first time since this happened. So. Thank you.
Theme music begins
JACKI: Recorded live at Jalopy Theatre in Brooklyn
Messenger Theatre Company presents
The Defense
THIS IS SESSION TWO
LEILA: No, because I got these new color coded file tabs that just stick right on there so I can find it all in a hurry.
KACEY: We’re glad you made it back, Lori. We didn’t scare you too much last week?
LORI: I had some moments but when I thought about it, being here was the most okay I’d felt in a while so I figured I should return. But can we make it not so much about me this time?
KACEY: Absolutely. Bria – you look like you’re wrestling with something.
BRIA: Yeah. I just – listening to Lori last week took me back to when it first happened to me. It’s just made me a little – I don’t know – reflective.
KACEY: How so?
BRIA: I just wish I’d made it here as early as you did, Lori. I made myself miserable for so long before this group came together and I just wish I could have spared myself some of that. Like, I see myself trying to tell the pastor at my church and realizing that he was thinking I was a devil in his flock. I tried to cast myself out.
MARI: Oh, Bria.
LEILA: No! That’s awful.
BRIA: It wasn’t nice; I’ll say that. They were dark times And I feel bad now, I guess, because I’m a little jealous of Lori catching it so early. I’m just. I’m GLAD for you, Lori. I really am. And I know it’s really hard in this moment but you’re so lucky to have found us early. And lucky not be a victim of another crazed man. Like – if you ever start to feel bad about that tiny little doll man – just think about where you’d be if you hadn’t found your defense. You could be dead, you know? A man who breaks a bottle to threaten you in a library isn’t someone who will stop there.
LORI: I hadn’t thought of that.
BRIA: You’re not dead because you took care of yourself. That’s the truth of it. The key. You found your strength and you kept yourself alive.
LORI: I did.
BRIA: And he’s small. So what? You’ve neutralized him. Now if that guy wants to cut someone with his little bottle, it’ll be like getting a cat scratch. It might sting a little bit but he can’t kill you. Not without a LOT of extra work.
LORI: Can you imagine? Sawing away with that tiny bottle?
BRIA: Could you please stay still, I’m trying to slit your throat!
LEILA: I will have the power of 100 bats one day – as long as you don’t move and don’t swat me away!
MARI: I’m as dangerous as a paper cut, baby! Just call me Paper Cut Curt.
LORI: I think I will definitely call him Paper Cut Curt from now on.
MARI: It’s what he deserves, the creep. He’s lucky to be alive
LEILA: Yeah – like Mari said last week – he’d for sure be dead if he’d tried this with any of us.
LORI: Good old Paper Cut Curt.
BRIA: You’re going to be alright.
LORI: I am. Thank you.
KACEY: Thanks for that, Bria. Leila?
LEILA: I’m good. I’m really good, you guys.
KACEY: Tell us!
LEILA: It was just, like, a normal week. No one catcalled me. No one threatened me. No one brought deadly objects down upon themselves.
KACEY: Congratulations, Leila.
LEILA: I mean. I did have ONE moment in which I had to breathe a little bit.
KACEY: Tell us.
LEILA: This guy came in to the deli while I was checking out and the chocolate’s there under the counter. And this guy just reached for the chocolate inches away from me. Didn’t say excuse me. Didn’t say “if you don’t mind” or “Could I just…” No. This guy just thrust his hand inches away from my crotch and I really had to concentrate not to let him have it, honestly. I mean. Number One – he was very close to me. Something crushes him, there might be fallout for me. Number Two – he was not threatening me. He just thought my space was his.
MARI: Will these guys never learn?
LEILA: Not if I crush them before they can. So, I didn’t. And I’m pretty proud of myself because I certainly didn’t have that kind of control when I first came here.
KACEY: We’re proud of you, too, Leila.
MARI: Very.
BRIA: Yay Leila!
LORI: Good job.
LEILA: Thanks everybody. I appreciate it.
KACEY: Can you break down your process for us a bit? Maybe. Especially for Lori here
LEILA: Oh sure. Yeah. Good idea. Well. When he reached – I felt a flash of rage. Like a surging of the defense. Like, I’m sure I turned red. Very red. And I could feel the lamp over his head start to wobble but I just took a deep breath and I thought, “No, thank you.” I looked up at the lamp and I thought, “You stay there.” And it did.
KACEY: Good work.
LEILA: Thanks.
LORI: Can I ask? Is it okay to ask something?
KACEY: Of course.
LORI: Is it control that we’re working on here? Being able to control ourselves?
KACEY: It doesn’t have to be. If someone came who wanted to develop her defense, to discover it, improve it, I think we’d help with that, too, yes?
The group agrees.
KACEY: It’s just that most of the group here so far has the opposite concern – a desire to learn to control the defense instead of allowing it free rein.
LORI: What happens when you give it free rein?
MARI: A LOT of piles of ash.
LEILA: A lot of crushed skulls.
BRIA: A lot of stopped hearts.
LORI: I’d probably end up with a whole village of doll size men.
MARI: That would be hilarious.
LORI: Would it?
MARI: Totally. First – they’d have to find each other and you know, because they’re all terrible, that their first response would be to try and beat each other up. It would take them ages to figure out how to work together to create an actual mutually beneficial living situation.
LORI: They’d probably try and get me to shrink them some women.
MARI: You KNOW they would.
LORI: But maybe they’d band together and come after me?
MARI: Like the Borrowers gang up on you or something? Not a chance they’d figure out how to coordinate to do that. Not a chance. You need to be able to have teamwork and the kinds of guys we encounter could never. I mean could NEVER.
LORI: Is it only guys?
KACEY: What do you mean?
LORI: The defense. Does it only happen to guys? Like, could I shrink a woman?
KACEY: You probably could. But it is unlikely.
LORI: Why?
KACEY: How many women have you been threatened by in your life?
LORI: One or two.
KACEY: Did you find you were in mortal danger?
LORI: No. But I did get scared, I think.
KACEY: If you were in real danger, I’m sure your defense would leap into action. But statistically – it’s unusual.
LORI: Have any of you?
MARI: Nope.
BRIA: Not even close.
LEILA: Only came close in a crowd situation.
KACEY: Statistically – it’s about as likely as a female serial killer. Which is to say that, it does happen but only in really extreme circumstances.
LORI: Oh wow.
KACEY: Mari? Anything on your mind?
MARI: I am a blank of all blanks. Sorry. Everything normal.
KACEY: Normal is absolutely fine. Lori? How are feeling? This group not freaking you out too much?
LORI: No. I’m grateful, I gotta say. Just knowing I was coming back here really got me through the week. I mean – I didn’t small anyone else so maybe it’s just over for me – but I’m glad to just be with you all, so. Thanks.
KACEY: Were you tempted?
LORI: What do you mean?
KACEY: Like, did you look at someone and think “I could shrink you.”
LORI: No.
KACEY: Really?
LORI: No. Yeah. No. I did. I forgot about it. I was on the subway and this guy was taking up so much space on the seats – like three people’s worth and he was just looking at his phone but it was so annoying, I did think, “Someone should shrink you” but then the train pulled into the station and he went out so the moment passed.
LEILA: Lucky man!
KACEY: Did you feel the Defense kicking in?
LORI: Gosh, you know – I don’t know. I didn’t notice at the time. But maybe so. My face flushed and I started breathing more quickly and I could imagine blacking out like I did at the library.
KACEY: Sounds like the beginning of the Defense to me. That guy was extremely lucky his stop was next.
MARI: Next stop, Small Town!
LORI: But he didn’t do anything to me personally. Why should the Defense show up? I was perfectly safe.
KACEY: You’re in the first phase of the Defense’s pattern when the toggle of the Defense is really sensitive and can fly into action at any point.
LORI: Oh. Right.
KACEY: It pays to keep your attention on high alert in this phase – to notice those cues of your flushing and heart racing.
LORI: And then do what?
KACEY: Let me put it to the group. What would you do in this scenario?
MARI: I’d just sit my ass down next to him.
BRIA: You would, too.
MARI: And I have!
BRIA: I guess I would try “Excuse me sir but you’re taking up the space of three people” But I have to say that this tactic can often escalate the situation so it’s a 50/50 shot. I mean, on the one hand – if he responds positively – he proves himself a better man than he seemed and also survives the day – but on the other hand – it becomes hard to hold back the Defense once someone’s responded like a dick. And a lot of them do respond like dicks.
LEILA: Honestly – I just walk away in moments like these. I mean – to Bria’s point I have tried saying something but it almost always goes badly and the death I was trying to avoid almost always happens anyway. So a man like that who is clearly being a dick, I just go to another car, like it’s a bad smell I’m getting away from.
KACEY: Those give you some ideas, Lori?
LORI: Yeah. There’s a lot to think about.
KACEY: I mean, right now, in these infant stages of your defense, I’d just focus on yourself. Focus on your body’s cues – what happens to your breath, your heartbeat, your temperature. That might just keep you busy enough to avoid using the Defense too liberally.
LORI: Got it. Yeah. Got it.
KACEY: And it does help to note these sort of events. In the beginning, our brains often prefer to write them off or forget them but try to log them anyway – it’ll help you gain a little bit of authority over your own defense.
LORI: Like. Log them in, like a log?
KACEY: Sure – or a little notebook. Or an excel doc. It’s not important how – just that you let your brain and your defense know that you’re paying attention.
LEILA: It’s like a dream diary. You ever keep a dream diary?
LORI: I tried once or twice.
LEILA: Well mostly you don’t keep a dream diary to read later. You do it so your brain starts to understand that you want to remember your dreams, that they’re important to you, so it doesn’t just throw them out as you wake up. The Defense log is the same. Like, when you let the Defense know you’re paying attention – it might not black you out when it’s doing its thing. It might let you stick around in your own consciousness long enough to stop it or – at least watch it happen.
LORI: That makes sense.
LEILA: Honestly, it’s my favorite tool for dealing with the Defense.
MARI: It would be, you organizing freak.
LEILA: Hey hey.
MARI: I mean that with total love, you paperwork loving maniac.
LEILA: I know. Can’t help it. Filing systems give me peace.
MARI: You are such a VIRGO!
LEILA: I know. I know. You want me to come organize your closet?
MARI: Really?
LEILA: Sure.
MARI: No kidding. Uh. Yes!
KACEY: Right. So – is everyone good for the week? Do we need to talk about anything else?
MARI: I’m good.
LEILA: I’m good.
BRIA: So good.
LORI: I’m also good.
KACEY: Great. Affirmation? I am safe but I’m not safe for everyone. And I’ll see you all next week.
Theme music begins
JACKI:
The Defense is a production of Messenger Theatre Company.
It is performed by Marcella Adams as Leila, Amber Jessie as Mari, Cosmic Kitty as Bria, Kristen Vaughan as Kacey and Toni Watterson as Lori.
The writer/director is Emily Rainbow Davis.
Sound Design by Matt Powell
Sound Engineering by Daniel Massey
Sound Assistance by Angela Santillo
Stage Management by Ella Lieberman
The Producer is Melvin Yen.
The Defense theme is by Scott Ethier.
I’m Jacki Jing
I am safe but I’m not safe for everyone.