Session 6 Transcript
BRIA: Previously in Session Five
KACEY: Quickly, quickly come in.
LORI: I’m sorry everybody!
KACEY: Just come on in as quickly as you can.
MARI: Damn, Lori!
BRIA: Wow.
LORI: I’m sorry.
KACEY: He got lucky it was you – because yours is the only Defense that wouldn’t kill him. If it weren’t for you, he’d be dead. So think of it as saving his life!
LORI: I just feel bad for losing control.
KACEY: Don’t. He was terrible.
MARI: Really infuriating.
LEILA: And patronizing. That’s always the thing that triggers me.
BRIA: “Girls. Girls.”
MARI: “Girls. Patience is a virtue, you know.”
BRIA: “Business takes time.”
MARI: I might need to go back out there, make a tiny ash pile.
ALL: Don’t. No. Mari.
MARI: Just kidding! If I saw that little man now, I would for sure just laugh at his silly tiny face and call him Mike the Mouse.
BRIA: Mike the Mouse.
Theme music begins
JACKI: Recorded live at Jalopy Theatre in Brooklyn
Messenger Theatre Company presents
The Defense
This is Session 6
Enter KACEY
KACEY: Come in, come in, come in. We’ll discuss shortly. This venue is proving to be…uh, quite a learning opportunity. In we go. We got everyone?
LEILA: Mari, Lori, Bria, you and me. Yep. We’re all here.
KACEY: Right then.
DOOR CLOSE
KACEY: Let’s have a seat. Maybe breathe on your way there. Good. Check in with your heart rates. Your skin temperature. Any tingling? Feel your feet on the ground and your seat in the seat. Anyone feel like they want to say something?
LEILA: I’m grateful the lamp fell last week because it meant there was very little danger for me today.
KACEY: Does your Defense not kick in if there’s nothing to fall?
LEILA: It does – but it just takes a lot more power? Like – it WILL loosen a ceiling tile if it needs to – but it needs me extra fired up to do that. Same with open air places – my Defense can fly in an object – but it has to REALLY want to.
KACEY: Interesting. Lori, how are you doing after that encounter?
LORI: Well, I guess I know now that it lasts at least a week.
KACEY: Good information.
LORI: Yep.
KACEY: And he also clearly has no idea it was you.
LORI: You don’t think so?
KACEY: I really don’t. I mean. He was furious at us – but just because he didn’t like us laughing.
LORI: Yeah. That was – odd.
KACEY: I think the Defense has defended itself – in that he’s not got the slightest clue or memory about how that happened to him.
LORI: Huh.
MARI: He was a very angry little man but he didn’t seem specifically mad at you, Lori.
BRIA: He really was looking at all of us. And the whole situation was so absurd, I didn’t even feel a hint of a trigger.
MARI: Yeah, he’s just so cute like that.
BRIA: Like a tiny little doll. It’s like watching a kitten try and scold you.
LORI: It’s true. I wasn’t even tempted to small him further. I’ve done all the damage I’m going to do.
MARI: And entertained us all in the process.
LORI: It’s just a shame he didn’t seem to learn anything from the experience.
MARI: More evidence that you did the right thing.
LORI: Okay. Yeah.
KACEY: I think we can all join you in feeling a little relief. I mean – the rest of us don’t generally have to deal with those who our Defense has protected us from. We will not see those men walk around again – so this is such interesting information for all of us.
LORI: Are there really no other Defenses with – um – survivors?
KACEY: There are. You are not alone. But among us, you are unique! I can see if there’s a subset group that addresses your particular brand of defense.
LORI: No, no. I’m very happy here.
KACEY: Certainly there’s a lot for all of us to learn from each other.
MARI: And from little Mike out there. “You girls with your laughing!”
KACEY: A woman’s laugh is powerful, friends. Don’t’ forget it. In fact – I think we should think of it as another tool in the tool bag, another thing we can turn to when we’re trying to avoid the Defense.
BRIA: What do you mean?
KACEY: Have you ever tried laughing at one of those douchebags? Just full on, full throated, intense laughter?
BRIA: No. I really don’t find their behavior funny.
KACEY: Not even if they were doll sized, like Mike?
BRIA: Well…it might be funny, then.
KACEY: Listen – I wouldn’t recommend this strategy if you didn’t have the Defense in your back pocket, as laughter can be absolutely enraging to these sorts of men but for us…if it enrages them? Fine. You know? They will not be a danger for long. But…for some, it confuses them so much, they just wander off.
LEILA: What’s that saying about women laughing that people are always quoting?
MARI: A woman needs a laugh like a fish needs a bicycle?
LEILA: No, no. That’s a man – you know that. Because women actually do need a laugh.
MARI: A woman needs a laugh like a fish needs water.
LEILA: Better. But no – this saying is like – something about men being afraid of women laughing.
MARI: Is it: “men are afraid of women laughing”?
LEILA: No, no, it’s obviously better than that.
KACEY: I believe you’re going for the Women are afraid that men will kill them. Men are afraid that women will laugh at them.
LEILA: That’s it. That’s the one.
KACEY: It’s attributed to Margaret Atwood but – you can never be sure with popular quotes.
MARI: I’m pretty sure it was Abraham Lincoln who said it.
LORI: No, no, definitely Einstein.
LEILA: But it’s true, right? That’s the crux of it? That if we laugh? It’s like we killed them?
BRIA: Which is better than us actually killing them, I’d imagine.
MARI: Yes but the problem is that they’re not afraid of us killing them. So – we always take them by surprise.
BRIA: But I like this. I could just laugh? And for some guys, it will scare them more than the fact that I could stop their hearts by thinking about it?
KACEY: I think so, Bria.
BRIA: Wow. This is – great. I’d so much prefer to laugh.
LORI: The question becomes, how to get to a place where you can find a threatening man genuinely hilarious.
BRIA: I mean, Lori’s Defense is really the answer, isn’t it? Because little Mike is hilarious, It’s only when he was big he was dangerous.
MARI: Maybe we should send Lori out to Smallify the whole city! The place would be a lot more spacious AND hilarious.
LORI: That sounds like a lot of work.
BRIA: I bet I could get a good laugh going if I just used my imagination well enough, you know. Just picture the guy smalled.
MARI: Like – you can hear his little voice saying, “Come on sugar, give me a smile.” And so tiny!
BRIA: I mean. Yeah! Oh man. I’m ready to go out there and laugh my face off.
KACEY: I like this for you. It gives you a lightness that I know you’ve been craving.
BRIA: Listen – if I can scare them by laughing at them…that is good news for both of us, you know? He’ll be scared and alive and I’ll be laughing and less full of guilt. It is ideal.
KACEY: Do we have other ideas for laughter inducing – just in case picturing them small doesn’t work?
MARI: Just add “in bed” to whatever dumb thing they say. Like they do with the fortune cookies.
LEILA: I hate that game.
MARI: In bed.
LEILA: It drives me crazy.
MARI: In bed.
LEILA: Doesn’t anyone else find this irritating?
MARI: In bed.
KACEY: It does seem to be getting the group going.
LEILA: In bed.
KACEY: Ha! Yeah. That’s the spirit.
LEILA: In bed.
KACEY: Any other ideas for laughter inducing strategies?
MARI: You could make a face.
LEILA: In bed.
MARI: Oh god, none of us are ever going to be able to say anything again.
LEILA: In bed.
MARI: I should never have suggested this madness.
LEILA: In bed.
MARI: I thought you hated this game.
LEILA: In bed.
MARI: I give up.
LEILA: In bed.
KACEY: We can see how effective it could be.
LEILA: In bed!
KACEY: It was a good suggestion, Mari.
LEILA: In bed.
LORI: That one didn’t really work.
LEILA: In bed!
LORI: That one did, though.
LEILA: I thought so, too.
MARI: Oh phew, it’s finally over.
LEILA: In bed.
MARI: Nope, still going.
LEILA: In bed.
LORI: You walked right in to that one, Mari.
LEILA: In bed.
BRIA: I think we’ve found Leila’s special skill.
LEILA: In bed.
BRIA: I bet she likes to lie around in pajamas.
LEILA: In bed.
BRIA: And where is she at noon on a Saturday?
LEILA: In bed!
BRIA: Where would we find you if you got the flu?
LEILA: In bed!
LORI: That’s not really the game anymore, is it?
MARI: It’s a new game now.
LEILA: In bed.
MARI: The how to ask a question to which “in bed” is the right answer game.
LORI: Is that really a game?
LEILA: In bed.
MARI: Everything’s a game –
LEILA: In bed.
MARI: If you’re playing.
LEILA: In bed.
LORI: This game is exhausting.
LEILA: In bed.
LORI: And no fun.
LEILA: In bed. I’m sorry. I’ll stop messing around.
ALL: In bed!
LEILA: Honestly, I hated this game so much before because it always seemed like guys used it to picture me in sexual circumstances and manipulate me and it just wasn’t cool, you know? But here…
MARI: In bed.
LEILA: It’s a whole different situation. In bed.
KACEY: I think you’re pointing to power dynamics
LEILA: (In bed)
KACEY: And jokes are almost always better with the power inverted.
LEILA: I don’t like to think of guys having more power than me.
KACEY: They don’t. Anymore. Not now that you can crush them with any object from the sky. Back then, men used it to remind you of your place, to make you feel like an object instead of a person.
LEILA: That is what it felt like.
KACEY: But you’re a subject now. With a lot of power.
LEILA: In bed.
KACEY: I don’t doubt it for a second. And with us, it’s just fun. Just pure. No one is objectifying anyone else. We’re just enjoying one another.
LEILA: In bed.
KACEY: No one is objectifying us so that we can explore and maybe take the poison out of it.
LORI: Are there other examples?
LEILA: In bed.
LORI: Like, other dumb jokes? I was just thinking of the other day with those guys.
KACEY: That’s a great example because what were those guys doing?
LORI: They were mocking us.
KACEY: Like imitating you?
LORI: Yeah. Like saying what we said but in a higher sing songy voice.
MARI: Like a little brother.
LORI: Is it?
MARI: Exactly.
LORI: I’m lucky I never had one, I guess.
MARI: The thing is with a little brother, you can just pummel them because they’re the little one you can defeat. It’s the big brother making fun of you that will really make you crazy.
LORI: I missed that, too. Man. I’m mad again just thinking about it. They couldn’t just let us enjoy ourselves?
KACEY: They could not.
LORI: Why?
KACEY: I suspect it’s a kind of narcissism. It’s the belief that they are the only ones who could create a good time so any good time happening near them, that does not include them, challenges their whole world view.
LORI: That’s….wow. Like – they see a good time happening and have to disrupt it because they’re not involved.
KACEY: Your table was full of women enjoying themselves and that is a big challenge to a narcissistic mind. They’re the sun. How could you be having light somewhere without them? I suspect the mocking is a way to include themselves in your good time to be able to imagine that they’re still the center of the universe.
LORI: That is…
KACEY: Yep. Is there any kind of In Bed technique you two could have employed?
MARI: I guess we could have mocked them with their mocking? Like – I could have done an imitation of their imitation of us.
KACEY: Great idea.
BRIA: I sometimes curse people out in Chinese – like a big long tirade of insults. They do not know what hit them.
MARI: I would pay a lot to watch that happen.
BRIA: Yeah?
MARI: Oh yeah. For sure. What a thrill.
KACEY: You wouldn’t want to give us a short demonstration, would you, Bria?
BRIA: I mean. I’m not sure my fury is firing on enough cylinders to do it right now.
KACEY: Imagine you’re at the brunch with Lori and Mari. You hear the mocking. You stand up, face them.
BRIA: (Chinese) Listen you sons of snakes. If you thought you’d come in here and interrupt the fun of a group of women, you were wrong, you weasels, you donkeys, you pig-headed dogs. May your every step be in dogshit. May your mail always be late. May the wind always blow into your picnics. May your milk be sour. May your cats never cease scratching you.
MARI: Amazing. Now I’m going to have to learn Chinese so I can do it too.
BRIA: It’s definitely useful to do it in a language they are unlikely to understand. I wouldn’t do it in Singapore, for example.
MARI: Right – because part of the pleasure is really confusing them. To watch them try to understand your words while, of course, understanding your meaning.
BRIA: I don’t know for them it’s like when a bird is really mad and just chirps angrily at you.
MARI: Cheep cheep cheep cheep
BRIA: I mean. There’s no reason you couldn’t just chirp at them.
MARI: Or speak in a made-up language.
BRIA: That might even be easier.
LORI: I think it’s called grummelot.
MARI: Grummelot?
LORI: Yeah, I learned about it in college. It’s from commedia dell’arte. The troupes travelled around Europe but they didn’t speak all the languages so they’d just imitate the sound to get the sense of it. And from what I remember, it is really good for a rant.
MARI: Can you do it?
LORI: Me? No.
MARI: Come on.
LORI: I don’t even know what language.
MARI: French, Let’s hear it.
LORI: Ohhhh man dieu je deux mais le mostue respa d’un l’on trois croissant.
MARI: Amazing.
LORI: D’or toux loux peu.
MARI: I recognize a word or two.
LORI: That’s about how many real words to include. And the more ridiculous they are the better.
MARI: Oh yeah.
LORI: It’s – yeah, very fun and we used to use it in bars all the time.
MARI: How so?
LORI: Oh you know – some creep would come up and start trying to mack on us so we’d just answer him in grummelot German or whatever.
MARI: Did you ever speak a fake version of the language to someone who spoke the real version of the language?
LORI: It was actually funnier then – because they were so confident in telling us whatever they were telling us but we didn’t understand a thing and then we would just answer in grummelot again and they would get more and more frustrated because of the nonsense we were saying and the way it looked like a real conversation to the outsiders. Very handy skill, I will say. I can’t believe I forgot about it. It’s been years since I faked out a jerk.
MARI: Now you can just small ‘em.
LORI: Yeah!
KACEY: What strikes me about all these games with language is that it releases you from having to say the right thing.
BRIA: What right thing?
KACEY: Well exactly. So many women wonder, “What could I have said differently?” If they’re victims of an assault, they wonder what they could have said to prevent the attack. If they have the Defense, they wonder what they could have said to keep the Defense from doing its thing. What I learned today is that the words themselves couldn’t do much in most circumstances. There’s nothing I could have said, in any language, to stop what happened to me and in the same vein, there’s nothing I could have said to stop an attacker in the midst of triggering my Defense.
BRIA: So there’s no point in saying anything?
KACEY: I did not say that. There’s always value in speaking up. What isn’t useful is dissecting our speech afterwards for ways to blame ourselves.
LORI: Je dieux jambon trieste.
KACEY: Exactly.
LEILA: What did you say?
MARI: Sounded like a bunch of nonsense.
LORI: It was a bunch of nonsense.
BRIA: a very sincere bunch of nonsense.
LORI: That just about sums me up!
KACEY: You’re a lot more than that. Okay – gang – words may be meaningless but let’s say our affirmation anyway. I am safe but I’m not safe for everyone.
LORI: Fromage!
*
Theme music begins
The Defense is a production of Messenger Theatre Company.
It is performed by Marcella Adams as Leila, Amber Jessie as Mari, Cosmic Kitty as Bria, Kristen Vaughan as Kacey and Toni Watterson as Lori.
The writer/director is Emily Rainbow Davis.
Sound Design by Matt Powell
Sound Engineering by Daniel Massey
Sound Assistance by Angela Santillo
Stage Management by Ella Lieberman
The Producer is Melvin Yen.
The Defense theme is by Scott Ethier.
I’m Jacki Jing
I am safe but I’m not safe for everyone.