Session 4 Transcript
LEILA: Previously in Session 3
MARI: Lori came along to our brunch on Sunday and we were all having a really nice time. We’re laughing a lot. Bloody Marys are flowing. We’re…I don’t know…laughing about hash browns. When behind us, this table of douchebags starts mocking us.
KACEY: Did you both use the Defense?
MARI: Turns out. Yes.
LORI: It would appear so.
MARI: But the funny thing was -
LORI: Funny peculiar not funny ha ha.
MARI: the funny thing was – the guy who’d been making fun of Lori was a pile of ash.
LORI: And the one who’d been mocking Mari was very small.
MARI: It’s like we switched Defenses. Like, I was the smallifier and Lori became an ash maker.
KACEY: I think your Defenses acted on behalf of one another.
There are some theories that we tend to have unusually high empathic levels. So when we see someone being victimized, it’s like it’s happening to us, as if we were watching ourselves and so the Defense leaps into action.
LORI: And when I stood back up, one of Mari’s friends was saying something like, “You guys, I’m sorry. I think I just spaced out big time. What were you just talking about?”
MARI: And the others were like, “Yes, that’s funny. I spaced out, too. What WERE we talking about?”
LORI: And that’s when Mari said, “Oh, I think it was something about muffins.”
Theme music begins
JACKI: Recorded live at Jalopy Theatre in Brooklyn
Messenger Theatre Company presents
The Defense
This is SESSION 4
LEILA: The chandelier started shaking. Just shaking shaking. And it sounded kind of beautiful really. Then he just walked away.
KACEY: Wow, Leila. What a lucky almost you had!
LEILA: Yeah – I guess I have a warning system for predators. Which I hope somehow means they’re redeemable or something. Like, it feels better not to smoosh them. And I guess the ones who heed the warnings are the ones who could maybe learn? I don’t know.
MARI: And that venue got lucky, too. I bet that chandelier would not be cheap for them to replace!
LEILA: No, no, it would not.
KACEY: Bria – you okay? You look -
BRIA: I snapped –
KACEY: Tell us.
BRIA: I was on a good streak, you know? It had been months since I let loose the defense. Months!
KACEY: What happened?
BRIA: I shouldn’t have been out alone like that.
KACEY: We can discuss that “shouldn’t” later – but facts are – you were out alone.
BRIA: It was late. And dark. I’d seen a few friends at the bar and I was feeling good, you know? Like – that loose vibe?
KACEY: You were feeling good.
BRIA: And these three guys were shouting down the block behind me. I didn’t pay them any mind. I figured they were drunk and doing their thing.
KACEY: Fair assessment at that hour.
BRIA: Then they started with the “Hey!” and they get closer and closer. And I don’t know what they’d been saying but now they were pissed I hadn’t responded to them. And at first I was just mad that they were spoiling my good feeling. You know? Like, I was going to ride those good vibes all the way to bed and then there they were peeing in my cocktail.
MARI: Vivid.
BRIA: Even so – even though I was pissed, I kept it together. I tried the “Not Cool” response.
LORI: Sorry. What’s the Not Cool response?
MARI: It’s where somebody does something dickish and instead of killing them you say “Not Cool”
BRIA: They just kept coming toward me they were like drunk bulldozers – just forward, forward, forward.. In earlier days, I’d have tried running. But one – I don’t run any more. And two – I know they’d have caught me.
She pauses.
KACEY: Bria. ..
LORI: Your eyes, Bria.
BRIA: Sorry. I feel like I almost flipped into the Defense just thinking about what would have happened if they caught me.
KACEY: What could have happened?
BRIA: I don’t want to say. It would make it too real. But it would not have been good. Anyway – one of them grabbed my arm and that was it for him. it went straight from his arm to his heart and he let go and stumbled back. But his asshole friends didn’t even notice. Their friend is dying behind them and they just keep coming for me. The Defense did not wait for them to grab me. I think it saw that menace in their eyes and just snapped its fingers and boom, three dead bros on the sidewalk. I don’t know what anyone would have thought, finding them like that. But I just walked on like nothing happened.
KACEY: I think this is a situation where your defense did the right thing, Bria.
BRIA: They probably had girlfriends – wives. Certainly they had mothers.
KACEY: And think of how your mother would feel if they’d have succeeded.
BRIA: I wouldn’t have told her.
KACEY: If you survived.
BRIA: I don’t think they wanted to kill me.
KACEY: No, no – just your joy and your sense of security and bodily autonomy.
BRIA: Can’t I feel bad about this?
KACEY: You can! You can feel sad for their mothers all you want but you can’t let your guilt take over your life.
BRIA: I killed those three men.
KACEY: You did. And I’m personally glad you did.
MARI: Me, too.
LEILA: Also me
KACEY: I’m not trying to make you celebrate a death. Mourning their loss is certainly sensible. And in your early days with all this, a case might have been made for your having over-responded to something.
BRIA: The man who took my parking spot.
KACEY: For example.
BRIA: This is different.
KACEY: Very. How long has it been since you’ve used the Defense?
BRIA: Maybe a year?
KACEY: You see? You only used it when it was absolutely necessary.
BRIA: But I should have - called the cops, maybe.
KACEY: They would likely not have come and if they did it would have been too late. Cops tend to only be useful after the fact and they are almost never useful even then. What’s more likely? Your attempted rapists get arrested, convicted and locked up or the cops laugh and send them on their way with a half-hearted warning.
BRIA: I guess it’s the latter.
KACEY: You knew that. And so did your Defense.
BRIA: Maybe if I’d called the police, they’d have at least run away.
KACEY: How likely do you think that is?
BRIA: Not very.
KACEY: The men you described did not sound likely to be deterred.
BRIA: They weren’t.
KACEY: Right. So your defense took over and did the only possible thing.
BRIA: That look I gave them usually works.
KACEY: This time it didn’t. And your defense was your back-up.
BRIA: I shouldn’t have been out that late on my own. And in that skirt! I mean….
KACEY: You were asking for it? Come on Bria.
BRIA: I could have asked one of the guys at the bar to walk me home.
KACEY: With that look you have? Anyone else would have shaken in his boots. Also there were three of them.
BRIA: I just feel so bad!
KACEY: I know, Bria. I’m sorry. I wish those guys hadn’t attacked you.
BRIA: And I wish I hadn’t killed them.
KACEY: You wouldn’t have killed them if they hadn’t attacked you, Bria.
BRIA: They didn’t know how dangerous I am.
KACEY: And that is what they ought to have learned. Listen, all of you, we wouldn’t have evolved the defense if we weren’t under constant attack. This is a big moment in human development and we are at the vanguard. Later – no one will remember when men weren’t careful around women. They’ll be shocked men would ever dare. I mean, can you imagine, before your defense kicked in, just going up to a man on the street and making personal remarks?
LORI: I can’t imagine it now.
MARI: Hey there fella - how do you pour yourself into those jeans?
LORI: Where’d you get that sport coat, sport?
MARI: Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Gimmee a smile, sugar dick.
LEILA: Oh my god, Mari!
MARI: What? You’ve never been called sugar tits?
LEILA: Of course I have. But you just took it over the edge.
MARI: I believe that is Kacey’s point. That in the future, no one would dare call you sugar tits again.
KACEY: Exactly. This is a tricky moment because we are the ones turning the tide but the tide has not yet turned. And it is uncomfortable. I know it is. It’s not comfortable for me either. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost used my defense just because I was mad at myself for giving someone an opening – just out of habit. You know – the habitual. “Oh sure, yes, of course, you can sit there.” And then you realize your being nice is going to lead to trouble.
LORI: Wait. Wait. Being nice leads to trouble?
KACEY: Haven’t you found it so?
LORI: I don’t think so. Being nice is just courtesy. Nice brings more nice into the world. Why are you all laughing?
MARI: You sweet sweet thing.
LORI: What?
KACEY: It would be so nice if that were true, wouldn’t it?
BRIA: I wish it were so.
LORI: Isn’t it?
KACEY: Let’s go with an example from my life. I’m at a café and this guy asks if he can sit at my table. “Of course,” I say and welcome him. In this nice leads to more nice world we all wish were true, this man would then, I don’t know, offer me one of his chocolates and we might even have a pleasant chat about the weather.
LORI: Exactly.
KACEY: But that is not happens. This guy proceeds to get on his phone in this quiet café and yell at his secretary, inches away from my ear. He’s calling her things I don’t want to repeat. Now – would he have done this anyway had I not been nice to him and welcomed him to my table? Very possibly. But he wouldn’t have done it in my ear. He wouldn’t have shaken my bones with his nasty words. He wouldn’t have made my stomach turn with the immediate empathy I had for the woman on the other end of that call. If I hadn’t been nice – maybe he wouldn’t have found a space to make that call. Maybe he’d have taken it to the street where maybe he’d have felt a modicum of shame and treated his secretary slightly better. I feel like my nice made his nasty possible.
MARI: Today’s nasty brought to you by – NICE!
KACEY: Ha! Yes – exactly. Now – the thing is – if I’d just – I don’t know but my default response is to nice. To accommodation. To making space. So that’s what I mean. Does that make sense to you, Lori?
LORI: Boy oh boy. I am in trouble.
KACEY: How so?
LORI: I mean – default nice, you know? Like, I don’t even know how NOT to do that. And when you were telling that story, I could feel a little – heat – you know? Some heat where if I’d been there – that guy would be three inches tall right now.
KACEY: That’s why you’re here. You’ll find your way through – don’t worry. We were all default nice before, Weren’t we?
BRIA: Pathologically.
LEILA: Compulsively.
MARI: Habitually, with a polar default to sarcasm.
KACEY: Strangely – the things that can save these men’s lives are the things that are hardest for us to do and hardest for them to accept.
LORI: What do you mean?
KACEY: Well – a lot of these guys do not like to be told “No” but ironically, it is “No” that will stem the Defense and ultimately keep them alive. You see?
LORI: Not quite.
KACEY: If I’d said “no” to that guy in the cafe, he’d still be alive today.
LORI: Oh. Wait. You didn’t say that part before.
KACEY: Well – perhaps. I buried the lede on that one.
LORI: What happened?
KACEY: The defense kicked in. Even though it wasn’t for me. The way you could feel it kick up empathetically? It was like that for me, too – but stranger because it was happening right there next to me. And it was early in my training so I had no control over it. It just – whoops! And I got out of there.
LORI: But if you’d said No – he’d have lived.
KACEY: Very likely.
LORI: I see.
KACEY: The training is not so much in stopping the Defense. It is not a dam to hold it back. It is a set of skills to prevent its deployment.
LORI: A little like martial arts.
KACEY: How so?
LORI: Well – you’re supposed to learn martial arts and then never have to use them. Like – you learn the advanced kung fu and then never fight anyone because you learn to deflect them.
KACEY: That’s it. Exactly. Have you studied Kung Fu?
LORI: Me? No. No. Not at all. I just watch a lot of movies.
KACEY: Well. That’s it exactly. Though of course, this is not a martial art in the sense that you have to practice to get good enough to throw your opponent to the mat. Everyone who has the defense – has it fully formed. What we have to learn is how to avoid using it.
LORI: Right. Right. We don’t have to practice kicking through wood blocks. We have to practice not burning up the wood blocks on sight.
KACEY: Exactly. You’ve made me wonder though if there isn’t some wisdom to be gained in examining some of these martial arts traditions.
LEILA: Research. What do we want to know?
KACEY: I suppose it’s - what does a master of a martial arts DO to prevent using their art?
LEILA: Got it.
MARI: I took one of those self defense workshops where they teach you how to kick guys in the balls, and poke them in the eyes a while back.
BRIA: Mari - what does that have to do with martial arts?
MARI: Well, Bria – let me tell you. They told us that part of the reason they got started was that they noticed that martial arts training didn’t seem to prevent expert martial arts women from getting assaulted. They concluded that knowing how to take a man down didn’t help them in a real situation so they set about unpacking real situations and what to do in them.
KACEY: What did they discover?
MARI: It’s all the stuff before an attack that got them There’s all the signals. In some traditions there’s bowing and stuff – like, “Now we fight.” But in the real world, they were in a fight before they knew they were in one. And real world fights are a lot different than say, karate fights. They often happen suddenly.
BRIA: Don’t I know it.
MARI: But they DID see that there were a lot of little moments before an assault when there’s a window, like a moment to shout, “No!” and run away. Or, as they taught me – shout No, then kick him in the balls.
LORI: What?
MARI: Yeah. We practiced it, too. I can still do it. Watch: Step back. Shout No. Ball kick. Step. No! Balls.
LORI: That’s amazing.
MARI: They had a guy in a big protective suit and we all lined up to practice kicking him in the balls.
LORI: No.
LEILA: Oh my god.
MARI: Yeah. And you might think I’d have been a natural but it is harder to kick a man in the balls than you might think.
LEILA: Like, physically harder?
MARI: No – like – emotionally? I guess? Like – I knew he was safe in there but I still had to gather a lot of my internal resources to get my knee to his crotch.
KACEY: Do you think you could teach us this step, Mari. I feel like if we all learned it, we might not have to use the Defense.
MARI: Like, knee a man, save his life sort of thing?
KACEY: Exactly.
MARI: I think I could give you the idea, sure. You want to do that now?
KACEY: What do you think, group? Should we learn this now or save it for another time?
BRIA: Now.
LEILA: I am into it.
LORI: Me too.
KACEY: Let’s do it now, then, if you’re up for it, Mari.
MARI: Sure. Okay. Everybody up, then. And get yourself some space – just somewhere where you won’t knock into anything or anyone. Okay. Good. Uh – first lesson. Step back with one leg – then put your weight on the front leg and bring your back leg up like you’re kneeing someone in the balls. Step and knee. Step and knee.
LEILA: Does it matter what knee?
MARI: Whichever one is your first instinct.
LEILA: How do I know what my first instinct is?
MARI: Uh. Stand in neutral. Now…STEP BACK!
LEILA: You scared me!
MARI: But you stepped back with your left, so it’s your left, my friend. Your left is your kneeing leg.
LEILA: Got it. Right. Thank you.
MARI: Let’s do it all together. Step. And knee! 1, 2, 3. That’s good. Good. You got it. It’s like a kick line for kneeing dudes in the balls.
LORI: But what if the attacker is a woman?
MARI: Lori.
LORI: What?
MARI: It’s never a woman.
LORI: But what if it was?
MARI: You poke her in the eyes. Just like a man. We learned that, too. It’s just a more precise and complicated maneuver. You gotta learn the ball kick first. 1, 2, 3. Step and Knee.
LEILA: I’m getting it.
BRIA: You are.
LORI: I’m still concerned about what we do if they don’t have balls.
MARI: Lori. Darling. Sweetie. Feel free to kick a lady in the crotch, as well. It won’t hurt her as much but it might surprise her so hard it might have a similar effect.
LORI: I don’t know.
MARI: Do you need me to kick you in the balls – or in the absence of balls – to know for sure?
LORI: Maybe. Okay. No. You’re right. I see.
MARI: Right. Next we gotta learn to shout.
BRIA: Oh I can shout.
MARI: It’s a specific shout. You gotta open up your voice and just shout no.
LORI: Like how?
KACEY: Why don’t we try shouting next time? Give ourselves something to look forward to.
MARI: You’re not afraid of shouting, are you Kacey?
KACEY: Not even a little bit but let’s save it for now. We’re running low on time.
LEILA: That was exhilarating.
KACEY: Thank you so much, Mari. I feel entirely energized and hyped up.
MARI: My pleasure, y’all. Really. I’m surprised at how much I remember.
BRIA: Thanks, Mari. Thanks Kacey.
LEILA: Thanks gang.
LORI: Yeah. Thanks.
MARI: Alright. Alright.
KACEY: Okay. Til next week .
ALL: I am safe but I’m not safe for everyone.
*
Theme music begins
JACKI:
The Defense is a production of Messenger Theatre Company.
It is performed by Marcella Adams as Leila, Amber Jessie as Mari, Cosmic Kitty as Bria, Kristen Vaughan as Kacey and Toni Watterson as Lori.
The writer/director is Emily Rainbow Davis.
Sound Design by Matt Powell
Sound Engineering by Daniel Massey
Sound Assistance by Angela Santillo
Stage Management by Ella Lieberman
The Producer is Melvin Yen.
The Defense theme is by Scott Ethier.
I’m Jacki Jing
I am safe but I’m not safe for everyone.