Previously in Session FOURTEEN

 KACEY: Well – as it turns out, regarding our challenge of tracking down the copy repair guy, there are a couple of people with Defenses that draw forth the dead in some way. They’re a kind of intense reanimating Defense.

The basic idea would be that if we could get to the general vicinity of this guy’s ashes, then we trigger the reanimating Defense and then walk him to the police station and call in a hot tip about the remains on their doorstep.

LEILA: I’m stuck on how we get the Defenses to work on demand.

KACEY: They’ve built a machine that imitates the pheromones, vibrations and electrical impulses of a predator. They turn it on and the Defense is activated.

LEILA: Wow.

KACEY: The thing is – if anyone else with the Defense happens to be there, the machine will be at risk. In fact, we’re all going to have to consciously avoid both the dump and the route to the station because any one of us could be exposed to the machine and have our Defenses interfere with the process.

LORI: And I bet that machine would be a lot less effective if it were suddenly small.

MARI: Or a pile of ash.

LEILA: Or crushed under a stray AC unit or something.

BRIA: At least I couldn’t stop its heart!

KACEY: Having you all safely far away when this goes down actually sounds really good to me. Can you organize something like that, Leila?

LEILA: Are you kidding me? This is the sort of thing I live for.

LORI: Do we have a thing we should say to explain where we’re going? Or who we’re going with? I mean, for those who need more than pancake posse, that is.

KACEY: Some people take up a cover hobby – like crochet or knitting

LORI: Maybe scrapbooking?

KACEY: It’s actually pretty brilliant. If someone is pressing you about the group, just start trying to sell them on your scrapbook party.

Theme music begins

JACKI: Recorded live at Jalopy Theatre in Brooklyn

Messenger Theatre Company presents

The Defense

This is Session Fifteen

KACEY: Look at your smiling faces. Wow. The time away did you all good.

LORI: We perfected the peach raspberry pancake so we could bring you some.

KACEY: Is that what this is?

LORI: Yeah, we suggest heating it up in the foil in the oven.

BRIA: Or just heat ‘em up in a pan with some butter. That also works.

LEILA: We tried it both ways. Both are good. The oven way tends to crisp up the edges and the pan way gives you some more butter delivery.

BRIA: It’s also faster.

LEILA: It is also faster.

MARI: If you wanted to be super gauche you could just heat them up in the microwave.

LORI: Mari! No!

MARI: I’m not saying I recommend that way but it is the fastest and gets that peach raspberry goodness going immediately.

LORI: Eat them however you want, Kacey.

BRIA: Just not that way.

LORI: Seriously. Don’t microwave them unless you absolutely have to.

KACEY: Thank you, gang, this was very sweet of you.

LORI: You’re a key member of the pancake posse and we felt you should have some pancakes.

LEILA: Also we’re very grateful for you.

KACEY: Likewise, gang. Thank you. And I’m so glad you all had a decent time while you were away.

BRIA: So fun.

LORI: A joy and a half. In a beautiful place, thanks to Leila.

LEILA: I had the most marvelous time.

MARI: And I didn’t bug out too much.

KACEY: Excellent.

MARI: Can you tell us more about what happened here?

KACEY: Of course. So – I met with Rose Marie the day before. Rose Marie has the Defense that pulls up the dead.

BRIA: The Zombie Defense.

LORI: The Necromancer Defense.

MARI: The wild and helpful Defense.

KACEY: Exactly. So Rose Marie was set up to go to the spot in the dump that we hoped we might find Mr. Basement’s ashes, with the scientists and their machine. The scientists had been confirmed to not have any Defenses of their own and they were escorted by a guide who was also without.

LEILA: Okay.

BRIA: They went in Defenseless!

LEILA: With that one big exception.

KACEY: The science team were on a flatbed truck that kept its motor running and when everyone was in place, they turned the device on and waited for it to trigger Rose Marie’s defense.

LORI: Did it work?

KACEY: We’d been prepared for the possibility that her Defense might raise the wrong person, or multiple people but we hadn’t counted on six.

LEILA: Six?

MARI: Six?

LORI: Six?

BRIA: Six bodies?

KACEY: We think it’s the copier guy plus five. So yeah, six.

LEILA: Six.

KACEY: They had no way to confirm that Mr. Basement was among them but we really think so. He apparently had the look of a repair guy.

MARI: Copier repair corpse. Do you think he could come in and fix the copier before he disintegrates?

LEILA: Too messy.

MARI: You’re right.

KACEY: So the scientists took off with their little zombie army in pursuit. They managed to get to the police station. And once the zombies got close enough, the scientists turned off the machine and the zombies all collapsed on the steps.

MARI: That must have been risky for the scientists.

KACEY: Very.

LORI: It sounds like it went off as well as could be expected.

KACEY: I think so. Now we just have to hope that the police will have done actual police work on the bodies.

LEILA: The police must be entirely baffled. Six men turn up on their doorstep and instantly drop dead?

BRIA: And once they’ve got a report from the medical examiner they’re going to be even more baffled – because some of those guys are bound to have been dead for quite some time.

LORI: What if we found some other predators in this excavation? Like – others that the Defense took care of.

KACEY: That would be amazing.

MARI: Should we worry about being exposed, though? There’s a lot they’re not going to be able to explain in this scenario.

KACEY: It’s true that it will create a kind of enticing mystery for those who like to chase down such things. Let’s hope no one with a True Crime podcast finds out about it. BUT Once something’s closed, that’s the kind of gift most police departments don’t look at too closely. Our main concern was that there might be footage.

LORI: Like passersby.

KACEY: Exactly. But we took some precautions to try and clear the area of surveillance before we brought the bodies.

LEILA: What kind of precautions?

KACEY: We struggled for a while about what to do because, you know, these days everyone’s a documentarian and you can’t take people’s phones from them.

MARI: So what did you do

KACEY: We sent someone ahead of the truck with a clipboard and a labcoat and they warned everyone they saw that a Faraday surge was about to happen in the area and they were worried it might damage phones or cameras in the immediate vicinity. People took themselves right out of there.

LORI: Is that a real thing?

KACEY: Not really no. But some people have heard of Faraday cages and bags and stuff so it sounds believable.

MARI: When do you think we’ll know something about the medical examiner’s reports?

KACEY: We hope soon. But since none of it is connected to a particular case yet, there’s probably no rush on their end. If they’re doing it at all.

BRIA: They have to do something about it.

KACEY: They don’t have to at all since it’s not connected to any of their cases, to their knowledge. BUT – there were six bodies that showed up on their doorstep, I find it hard to imagine what they’d do with them without sending them to the examiner.

MARI: I used to be so grateful to just leave dust behind.

LEILA: I’m still envious of that particular quality. My Defense can be so gruesome sometimes. I’m envious of yours too, Bria. No blood!

BRIA: Oh sometimes they bleed when they hit the ground.

LEILA: Oh sure. Right. I was just imagining them gently clutching their chests and expiring.

BRIA: Sometimes. But, you know, it depends.

LORI: You don’t envy my Defense?

LEILA: Oh, of course I do! It’s just such a different quality.

LORI: I’m just teasing. I envy all of you, too. Your Defenses don’t leave behind small angry people to deal with.

LEILA: Things to be grateful for!

LORI: Exactly.

MARI: So the perspective of the greater organization is that this mission was a success, even without the examiner results?

KACEY: Absolutely. Listen – even if we can’t ease the minds of Mr. Basement’s victims, we will have harnessed the power of a Defense in the service of helping other women. It’s not easy and it took a lot of teams working together – but it brings us to a new era.

LEILA: What do you mean by New Era?

KACEY: The Defense has always been entirely reactive. It is a thing that happens to us when something is done to us or attempted on us – or someone near us. What I mean is, we don’t have any authority over the Defense. This event moves us into an era in which we can shape our world a little bit, to take hold of it and do things ourselves.

LORI: That’s so neat.

KACEY: I think so too. It just means that maybe we can do more than just react to bad things that (almost) happen to us. There’s something about that that has always made me feel sort of passive you know? I’m not crazy about that. I’m ready to do things.

BRIA: Wow, Kacey. Look at you. You’re, like, glowing.

KACEY: It all got me a little fired up, I guess. I’m sorry, this group is really meant for you. I’m not here to get fired up.

BRIA: I like you fired up. And it makes me want to join you! Let’s go get ‘em!

KACEY: There’s nothing to do yet. But we’re working on it. And it is very exciting.

BRIA: Sounds like it.

KACEY: How was the scrapbooking retreat?

LORI: Scrapbooking?

KACEY: Your retreat by the lake.

LORI: Oh, right, “Scrapbooking.” I forgot all about that. I guess cause I didn’t have to use it.

BRIA: I did. My friends are so NOSY.

MARI: Hopefully not into scrapbooking, though.

BRIA: Gratefully, no. They think it’s super weird but they understand obligation.

MARI: You don’t have to show them a scrapbook, do you?

BRIA: Oh lord no. And if they asked for it, I’d just tell them I made sure there was no evidence of it.

MARI: If I have to at some point, I will be using that same tactic.

BRIA: I haven’t seen them yet – but I will let you know how it goes.

KACEY: So you all did not have to resort to actual scrapbooking at your retreat then.

MARI: God no.

LORI: There was a jigsaw puzzle in the house that we did.

KACEY: Nice.

LEILA: We did some paddling around the lake.

BRIA: And some walking around the lake.

MARI: And some drinking around the lake.

LORI: And just sitting around the lake.

BRIA: Yeah, there was this dock. It was like a movie dock, you know? Perfectly placed for sunsets, the perfect size for the four of us. There were even chairs.

LEILA: If we’d been there any longer “cocktails at sunset” would have turned into a real tradition.

KACEY: Sounds marvelous. Anything happen that I should know about?

LORI: My goodness, I almost forgot.

MARI: I did, too. Wow. That’s never happened before.

KACEY: What happened?

LORI: A couple of things. I went out for an early morning run on Sunday. When I rounded this corner, this tiny park ranger just stepped out into the path.

KACEY: Tiny park ranger.

 LORI: Yep. And at first I thought he was just naturally tiny but the way he was raging made me a little suspicious. So I asked him what he’d been up to, what he thought he was going to do – and he shouted, “Nothing! I just wanted to talk! Can’t a man talk to a good looking young woman anymore???”
And that’s when I realized I must have smalled him without even seeing him.

KACEY: He must have been lurking – maybe waiting to…uh…

 LORI: “Talk” to me? Yeah, I think. It’s just – it really was like he just appeared. And it made me wonder if maybe that “first” time at the library wasn’t the first time my Defense kicked in – just the first time I noticed it.

KACEY: Interesting!

LORI: So I’ve been trying to remember if I’d ever seen smalled men before. So far, I’m coming up short.

MARI: Ha! Short!

LORI: Ha! I did not mean to do that.

MARI: I know! That’s what makes it so funny.

LORI: Short yes. Right. Anyway – I haven’t remembered anything – but partly I think I wouldn’t have thought anything of it.

KACEY: That’s interesting for many of us – because we might not have noticed the connection right away.

LEILA: Funny you should say that because it happened to me out there by the lake as well.

KACEY: No!

LEILA: Maybe it’s how easy it is to hide behind a tree or whatever? I don’t know but I was out for a walk and I heard a tree branch falling – turned around to see it and – uh – it was my Defense.

KACEY: There were two predators next to this lake? My God where did you all go?!

LEILA: Predator Lake. Do you think maybe that was a mistake?

KACEY: No, it’s not really called that, is it?

LEILA: No. That would be hilarious. No – it’s called Zephyr Lake

KACEY: Zephyr Lake – AKA Predator Lake. Were there more? Or just the two.

MARI: Just the two that we’re aware of?

LEILA: That’s probably enough.

MARI: Probably.

KACEY: Have you all just solved some unsolved crimes?

LORI: Oh wow. We could have. We could check the papers for missing people or crimes or whatever.

KACEY: I mean, given that you took TWO of them down, it would seem likely.

MARI: It’s interesting that they only came out when we were alone. We were out together most of the time. I never went out alone. I don’t think you did either, Bria, right?

BRIA: In the woods, by myself? Absolutely not. Never in a million years. Though, of course, I could, now. I could. And I don’t object to anyone else playing little Red Riding Hood and picking wildflowers in the woods alone – but that idea freaks me out.

LORI: With good reason, it turns out.

BRIA: It turns out.

LEILA: At least when you’re at Predator Lake.

BRIA: Well, now you two have cleared it up for me, I could strap on a red hood and skip happily through the forest.

LEILA: You wouldn’t.

BRIA: No, I would not.

KACEY: In your pre-Defense years that instinct was pretty wise it would seem.

BRIA: Still wise now! Animals probably don’t trigger the Defense.

KACEY: True.

BRIA: Especially not the creepy crawly little slug like things that I know for sure wouldn’t hurt me but I somehow still find terrifying.

KACEY: True. I know of no slug triggered Defense.

BRIA: So Defense or No Defense – no forest rambling for me.

MARI: But Bria! God made the slugs just like He made you!

BRIA: Don’t try and use my religion against me, Ash Girl.

MARI: Alright, Heart Attack Queen.

LORI: As you can see, Kacey, we have moved into the affectionate name-calling stage but have not yet figured out less obvious name calling.

KACEY: Nicknames aren’t a terrible idea.

LORI: Yeah. Maybe we need scrapbook related nicknames, huh?

MARI: None of us know a darn thing about scrapbooking so it’ll be a little tricky.

LEILA: I’ll do some research. We can try some stuff out, see what will stick.

LORI: Isn’t sticking things part of scrapbooking?

KACEY: Ha! True. But research is not at all necessary.

LEILA: Unnecessary research, you say? I have already begun. And I will ALSO be searching for mysterious goings on at Predator Lake.

BRIA: Wait. But this is a thing we could DO, isn’t it?

MARI: What, research?

BRIA: No. Well – yes. Yes – research but of areas where women have gone missing or something.

LEILA: Ohhhh. I see where you’re going with this.

BRIA: I mean. We don’t have to do it on purpose but, like, we ended up at Predator Lake.

LORI: Poor Zephyr.

MARI: It’ll reclaim Zephyr Lake soon, we hope.

BRIA: But you know, we could see if there’s a place we should hang out and if we happen to also help save a few women, that’s a big bonus, right? I mean, between the two of you, you’ve just made Zephyr Lake an infinitely safer place for women. That’s amazing. And so good for the citizens of Zephyr Lake – as well as any women who happen to rent that house on occasion.

MARI: That is, in fact, very cool. And we could take more trips, too – which I would enjoy.

LORI: As would I.

LEILA: What do you think, Kacey? Is this okay for the larger organization perspective?

KACEY: I think they’d love it. Not everyone – of course – there’s a faction who just want to put their heads down and hope to never need their Defenses again. But they are really in the minority. The majority are looking for every opportunity to make use of our particular skills. I’ll talk to them about it. It might be scalable.

LORI: Scalable?

KACEY: Like, we could have groups researching near wherever they are and traveling to see if they can help. We could have squads, really.

BRIA: Look at us – changing things. Making a difference.

LORI: So exciting!

LEILA: And if we tap into the Mona Lisa network they could really streamline that research stage.

MARI: I haven’t seen my Mona Lisa by the way, so I haven’t heard anything about this week’s operation from her.

KACEY: I’ll be very curious to hear what she says.

MARI: Me too.

LORI: We don’t care.

BRIA: Nope. Not at all.

LEILA: Just not interested. Inside scoop at the police station. Romance details? Who cares?!

KACEY: I’m so delighted at the lightness that seems to have crept into your experience on your weekend. It suggests a real growth stage in your journeys.

LORI: We are light as a feather.

BRIA: Stiff as a board!

MARI: Did you play ghost games in church camp? Bria! Aren’t those the devil’s games?

BRIA: You would be surprised at the trouble we could get up to.

MARI: I’m imagining some really interesting lock-ins!

LORI: I longed for a lock-in as a child it sounded so FUN.

BRIA: We spent most of our time trying to keep the dorkiest boys from creeping on us.

LORI: Wasn’t it, like, endless flirtation?

BRIA: The boys we wanted to be locked in with us were not. The boys who were – well, let’s just say a lot of them probably grew up to experience someone’s Defense at some point.

LORI: Ohhhh. All my fantasies are fading so quickly.

BRIA: we were a part of that marketing campaign. Not on purpose – just – we were there, we talked about it.

LORI: And just, like, it’s a thing you all shared. It’s a social event, all together. Even if it was miserable, it could still be a little fun, maybe.

BRIA: The lock-ins were HIGHLY supervised. If you’ve ever tried to have fun under close observation, you know how fun those nights were. No – we played the games at sleep overs – after the parents had gone to bed.

MARI: Girls gone devil wild!

BRIA: So wild. One time one girl brought over a Ouija board. We went bananas.

MARI: Did you get results?

BRIA: We got as far as getting a name but then we freaked out and chucked the board into the creek.

MARI: What was the name?

BRIA: Hayden.

MARI: Hayden??

BRIA: It was the name of a kid from our school who drowned during the summer.

MARI: Creepy.

BRIA: We were pretty freaked. Sorry Kacey. None of this is Defense related.

KACEY: It doesn’t need to be. We’re here to support each other and you’ve all been doing exactly that. I think this group is ready to graduate.

LEILA: Graduate?

KACEY: Yeah -  we graduate a group when you no longer need a facilitator.

LORI: We need you!

KACEY: I won’t disappear when you graduate. I’ll be available for whatever you need, whenever you need me  – but we’ll just shift a bit, be slightly less formal.

BRIA: Ack. Change!

KACEY: The change has already begun. You are the Pancake Posse not the Defense Support Group anymore. You solve your own dilemmas. You discuss your own encounters with the Defense and support each other. That, is all a group is.

LEILA: We do do all of that.

KACEY: And you’ll notice we’ve all done a lot less decompressing about Defense events or questions of morality lately.

BRIA: Ack!

KACEY: It’s a good sign! And once we’ve graduated you, you can start the process of facilitating your own groups. If that appeals to you.

BRIA: You mean we become the you to another group?

KACEY: Yep.

LORI: No.

KACEY: Truly.

LORI: I’m too young.

KACEY: Not really. You have acres of experience compared to someone encountering their Defense for the first time. But there’s no hurry. It’s not required in any way. Just know it’s available to you and that I’ve found it very rewarding so I recommend it.

LEILA: Is there a ceremony? I mean, if we’re calling it a graduation.

KACEY: There is, actually. I’ll introduce you to a wider circle of the community and there’s a little ceremony to welcome you.

BRIA: A little ceremony! Wow. No caps and gowns, right?

KACEY: Nope. Nor cap nor gown. We’ll just give you a little knick knack to mark the moment and have a fun receiving line where you’ll meet a lot of others very quickly.

LEILA: Like a wedding.

KACEY: Like a wedding where you don’t yet know any of the guests.

MARI: Not like most weddings then.

KACEY: Not most.

LEILA: When do we do this?

KACEY: I don’t know yet. I hadn’t planned on talking to you about it today but it’s just so apparent that you’re ready. I’ll consult with everybody and then I’ll let you know. Soonish probably! Because you are ready whether you feel yourselves so or not.

BRIA: Grad-u-ation coming.

KACEY: I think you all will enjoy it. Okay – so I think we’re set for the day unless there’s any last things you have to discuss.

BRIA: I’m sad this is going to end!

KACEY: It’s just going to shift, don’t worry. And if you want to meet here without me every week, you can, though I suspect you’re going to meet in a place where there are pancakes.

LEILA: We just might.

KACEY: Okay. Affirmation?

ALL: I am safe but I’m not safe for everyone.

Theme music begins

JACKI:

The Defense is a production of Messenger Theatre Company.

 It is performed by Marcella Adams as Leila, Amber Jessie as Mari, Cosmic Kitty as Bria, Kristen Vaughan as Kacey and Toni Watterson as Lori.

 The writer/director is Emily Rainbow Davis.

Sound Design by Matt Powell

Sound Engineering by Daniel Massey

Sound Assistance by Angela Santillo

Stage Management by Ella Lieberman

The Producer is Melvin Yen.

The Defense theme is by Scott Ethier.

I’m Jacki Jing

I am safe but I’m not safe for everyone.